Four

"Mom dad, if I change my change my study field, will you get angry???"

ji Yang asked her parents while having breakfast with them.

"you don't want to study art? why? "

"I think I'm not suitable for art. I've found another field I want to pursue...."

"which field??"

"I want to study psychology...."

"ji Yang, listen.... it's your life your choice...no matter what decision you'll take, we will always support you. but I want to say, think carefully before you do something.... Okay??"

"yes ..mom ..."

..............

"hello.. Ai Rin, let's go on a trip... "

"where??"

"to see the sea"

"sure ....when??"

"tomorrow.... I'll wait for you at the bus stop at 10...."

"okay"

Ai Rin was still having nightmares everyday... sometimes she saw Ji Yang criticizing her. every student was criticizing her. She felt terrible....

next day at the beach...........

"it's your first time right coming to the beach??"

"yes......... "

"ask me how did I know?"

"how did you know???"

"because I can see through you".

Ai Rin smiled at her.....

"ji Yang........."

"hmmm.....?"

"thank you.......for being my friend "

"I told you, no need to be formal ".

they played together at the beach then had lunch near a restaurant....

"Ai Rin......"

"huh?"

"I.......I have decided to change my field...."

"huh...? what are you talking about?"

" I will change my school........ I have been thinking hard....... I'm not suitable for art.....after thinking hard I've decided to become a psychologist. I never have any dream. I was studying art just because I was good at drawing. Now, I think I'm more interested in psychology than art..."

"ah........( her mind was telling her, she will left you...you are pathetic...you don't belong anyone... everyone is sick of you)"

"I could see her depression in her eyes. but in order to help her I need to learn her first.... I've noticed her finger from the beginning.... she often scratches it.... she's doing it now...maybe she's terrified that I'll leave her....."( in ji Yang's mind)

ji Yang hold Ai Rin's hand to assure her not to worry and they would meet everyday.

from the second year, Ji Yang transferred into a science school... It wasn't far from her previous school. Ai Rin and ji Yang met at Ji Yang's parent's restaurant before school...from there they went to school together...after dropping Ai Rin ji Yang went to her school.....this is how they were meeting everyday....

meanwhile, a transferred student filled the gap of ji Yang... it's a boy..

"Xiao Kai. others are saying that, he was Yi Ran's rival who came out in second place."

in the second year,

Ai Rin was thinking about attending in various competitions to become better.... There was a inter school competition, where she placed 2nd and Yi Ran came third and that new boy came in first place.

everyone praised Ai Rin's painting. that time Yi Ran first talked with her..... he approached her first while she was looking at her own painting in the exhibition.

"congrats...."

"huh??? "

"you're the owner of this painting, aren't you?"

"no, I'm not....(how did he know that? I've used a nickname)"

"so, Ms. lavender, are you hurt inside ? did you get dumped??"

"excuse me...?"

"your painting is delivering sadness somehow."

"are you a painting genius?"

"yes, everyone calls me that"

"[he's still that straightforward jerk] I don't think so...if you were then you could have won the first place. but you couldn't even placed second "

he looked at her with a skeptical face .....they just had an eye lock.....she immediately left from there...

ji Yang came to the exhibition to support her.... she couldn't believe that, Lin Yi Ran came out third.

"really? I can't believe it..... I was his fan........but I feel happy for my bestie"

she hugged her.

"how's new school??"

"it's not good not bad.... I don't have any friend there....I feel bore but I study whenever I get free time..."

"sorry I couldn't ask you about school earlier."

"hey..... I'm the one who is sorry for leaving you alone....hey mom asked us to have dinner in restaurant..."

"okay..."

Ai Rin was called by a teacher so went to him ..... Ji Yang was watching her from afar...

"I did some research about mental illness...she has PTSD. I guess she is trying hard to fight her illness....what made her this way?? I feel bad for her. I don't know anything about her... I never asked her about herself.. well...as long as she's doing well, I'm happy...Ai Rin doesn't talk that much, she's afraid of being the center of attention....after school I took her in my parent's restaurant.... then send her home....will I be able to help her???"

Ji Yang closed her diary....

"I thought I can change myself. I thought I won't have to feel like what I've felt in that dream. but even these situations seems a little different maybe because I am trying not to fall apart this time. I have a friend this time who's like a sister to me. I've won second place in a competition today. but why am I feeling nervous? why am I afraid? I'm trying hard to survive in this house where I feel suffocated. I wish someone could save me from this hell....I know I'm not good that's why my parent's don't like me...."

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