I Wish I Could
was it fog that I saw or just my mind. there was a clear line between love and hate, truth and lie but I was gone. no way back to sanity.
why God why!
I always believed that you would be there to drag me out of darkness, sadness and insanity but I never got my way. I tried and cried but I stayed where I was like no way home.
cursed myself for the things I never did. called myself for sins I was blamed for.
tore myself apart just for the sack of trust.
God that is not what I desired.
I deserved better but I only got what people called misfortune or cursed child have. infinite darkness.
but how far I have to go how far?
from day to night, light to darkness, good to evil how far?
God was I that bad?
they choose to stay silent when I suffered. they tied my hands so hard that I only saw myself stuck where they tied me. they did everything to hold me back but I did it.
God I did it.
I moved the thrones with my bre hands. I crossed the burning bridge.
but God that wasn't fair.
as I moved they still called me the same as before "cursed". who knew I will made it out, who knew I will chase the light to overcome my darkness, just who knew?
God is it life. is it really a life or just mine.
tiredness is taking over me, my eyes closing with every passing minute. it is so hard to keep them open. something Yes something is dripping down my cheeks. it is hot and my skin is really sensitive to it. it is like that little drop can drill the hole in my skin that's how harsh that is to my skin. I want to move it but where are my hands.
yes God where my hands.
I don't remember whether they tied or cut them off. but can they? they said they loved me. so, how can they?
my hands and feet. where they are? I can't see them or maybe, maybe they took my eyes. where are my eyes. am I drugged or losing it cause I can't feel myself. am I loosing my mind or they really took everything from me.
they never looked harmful or said anything which broke my heart so, why now? or yes maybe maybe I am Long lost and there is no way back to where I belong.
but wait i can see something yes! it's a
"star"
it's faint. no no no it is running away from me. no wait. no no let me be with you no please wait. you can't. just can't with me. God! please.
God! just take me where I can be happy, where I can feel myself, where there is no one to call me cursed.
"yes I am still a cursed"
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