Rafael
I stood there before a wooden box, my mother inside. She was serene and calm, but when I looked at her, I couldn't recognize the inert and lifeless person she had become. I went through that whole process as if I were just a spectator.
Many people were at her wake; she was loved and cherished in the community. She was always generous and affectionate to everyone. Isa stayed by my side the entire time, supporting me. Renan was also there for me; it was a surprise to experience such sincere affection from him, a good surprise.
During the burial, it was only me and the few friends that remained. It was there, before her grave, that I swore to give my life for Andre, so that he would be well, healthy, and happy. That's my goal in life now, to take care of him.
Isa and Renan took me home; it was a miracle they weren't fighting. I looked at Renan, and as if he knew me, he spoke.
"He's not coming, Rafa. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday, and you made me promise not to say anything."
"I know, I know it's silly of me, but I can't help but wish he were here. Even though I'm so hurt, I still miss him."
"You know if you want him here, he'll come, right?"
"I can't, Renan. I still have some pride left. I can't accept what he did. It's everything I don't want for myself or for Andre."
"And me, can I stay?"
"Of course, Reny. You were the only good thing that came out of this whole story."
They stayed with me for the rest of the day, giving me strength and showering me with affection. But at night, I was alone. Andre would still be in the hospital for a while, and I had to settle things with Lipe. Like a bad omen, he knocked on my door.
"Good evening, gorgeous. How are you doing?"
"Like someone whose mother just passed, Lipe. Now tell me what you want. How am I going to pay you back the money you lent me?"
"I'm sorry, Rafinha. I don't know what to say at a time like this. I'm so sorry about Dona Gentila. She was really cool."
"She was, but you didn't come here for that. Just tell me, what's it going to cost me?"
"Relax, kid. I'm not going to put you in a bind. You know I like you. I've got a girl now, but I still care about you. The thing is, I don't want to be a gangster forever. I don't want to die young. I want to live peacefully with my girl and a half dozen kids. So, I decided to invest some money."
"Invest?"
"Yeah, I bought the Mystic nightclub, the one all fancy that you liked to go to sometimes."
"How did you buy that place, Lipe? Drinks there cost an arm and a leg, imagine the whole club!"
"Come on, man, I've got money! The thing is, I have zero patience for those snobby guys from the city, and neither do my men. Besides being illiterate and slow-witted, the only one I know and trust to take care of that mess is you!"
"Me?"
"No, my grandma! Of course it's you! Look, think about it: you're educated, you dress all fancy, and you have that way about you… You can easily pass as someone from the city. And you're also the only one I trust."
"Lipe, this is crazy!"
"Look, I'll pay you a good salary. You can pay me back for the funeral expenses little by little. I'll pay you enough to raise the kid comfortably. You know you won't earn that working anywhere else."
He was right. People are prejudiced, and not having finished college doesn't help either. The most I could achieve is working myself to death in sales, enduring rude customers to end up earning a pittance in commission, while the store owners get rich. Now I'm not alone anymore. I have my brother; I need to think about him.
"I accept, Lipe, but on one condition."
"Ah, here comes the fuss. Just say it."
"The club will be clean. No selling drugs or doing anything illegal there. People will go there just to drink and have fun. I can't and don't want to get involved in anything wrong. I have a child to take care of. At the club, I'm in charge. Agreed?"
"I get it. I can do business elsewhere, and I already have many drug dens. I want to make clean money too, so I can be at peace with my girl. You have my word."
"Great. When do we start?"
"It'll take about two weeks for the paperwork to be ready, but we can go there on Saturday to check everything out and see how it works, meet the other employees, and all that."
"Thank you, Lipe."
"Don't mention it, Rafinha. If it weren't for my girl, I'd give you a piece of my mind that would make you forget all about that good-for-nothing playboy soon enough!"
"How do you know?"
"What is there that I don't know in this crazy town?"
I just laughed. This business of "there's no such thing as a good gangster" is a lie, and to make matters more complicated, Lipe takes good care of the community and the people. I know that the money he has wasn't earned honestly, but that's life; not everything is perfect.
Days turned into nights, and the pain was still there, the longing unbearable. My mother was everywhere. I distracted myself a little by getting Andre's room ready. I visited him every day. On Saturday morning, the nurse let me hold him and breastfeed. I felt such pure love at that moment; seeing that he depends on me gives me so much more strength to fight.
I went back home and got ready to go to the club with Lipe. I was anxious to see everything there. I had been a few times, but since it was very expensive, it wasn't a place I frequented.
Lipe arrived, and I was surprised. He was well-dressed and smelled great. He didn't look like the shirtless thug who lived roaming the streets.
We arrived at the club, and as soon as we stepped inside, I knew it was going to be a long night. I saw Bernardo and Barbara from afar. As much as it pained me to admit it, they looked good together. More than that, they deserved each other.
I don't have time for those two. I need to start over, once again!
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