Episode 10

Rafael

Months went by, and Bem's behavior when we were with other people remained strange.

Once, he invited me out again with those four friends I had met the other night. Renan seemed very alert that night, uncomfortable and very displeased. I realized that tonight, I was the center of attention. They were looking at me more intently than before, as if searching for some clue or confirmation.

The conversation at the table was strange. Everyone was walking on eggshells, and I had no idea what was going on. Bem was still forcing a masculinity that didn't exist between the two of us. I tried to convince myself that it was the confusion he felt about all the new things he was experiencing.

At one point in the conversation, Renan got up and practically dragged Bem to the bathroom. I was left alone at the table with the four of them: the couple Alice and Julio, and their friends Leonardo and Barbara.

Barbara seemed to have a sharp and acidic humor. As soon as she saw that Bem wasn't at the table, she fired off many questions that made me even more uncomfortable.

"Where does Be know you from, Rafael? Don't take it the wrong way, but he doesn't usually get involved with people like you. We're really worried about our friend and the places he's been going," Barbara said with enormous falsehood.

"Excuse me, I didn't understand what you meant." I was holding back.

"You're probably just another one of Be's charity cases. Just don't abuse it, okay? Our friend can be too generous."

I realized that Barbara's goal was to provoke me.

"You seem to know Bem better than he knows himself." I cast the bait, let's see if the piranha bites.

"Of course, we dated for a long time. The breakup was quite traumatic, Be was very bad at the time and is still angry with me, but I know he hasn't forgotten me, that he still loves me, and when his anger passes, people come back. Meanwhile, he can continue playing good samaritan, I don't care. Be has always loved me and I've always had him in the palm of my hand," she smiled confidently.

Julio, one of the friends, was the first to have the courage to ask me something directly.

"You and Be are a thing, right?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Julio. Be would never get involved with that kind of person. Just look at him. Be always said he was terrified of vulgar, scandalous people. This one is a most faithful example of a vulgar and scandalous person, and on top of that, he's also a favelado!"

I didn't bother answering either of them. I used all my self-control not to go off the deep end in that fancy restaurant and make that watery blonde eat her teeth.

Bernardo

I've been listening to Renan talking in my ear for ages, saying that I'm being an asshole and treating Rafael badly, but the truth is, I'm just trying to help him be a better, more cultured, and refined person. We had an argument in the bathroom. Renan insists that our friends are making Rafael uncomfortable and that I should defend him, expose our relationship, but I don't want that! Not now, I'm not ready. He has nothing to do with me, the way he is... he's very spontaneous, he speaks very loudly, he gesticulates a lot. I need to be careful every time we're together. Coming out is not an option, it's what we agreed on, and he's aware of that.

I came back to the table and the atmosphere was extremely tense. There was no sign of Rafael. I asked what had happened, and Barbara said that he freaked out and left. She even lied to everyone, saying that we were having an affair, but that no one had believed her.

I was furious. Rafael knew that I didn't want to tell anyone, at least not now, and that we don't have anything going on. He betrayed me. How could he do this to me!? I don't even want to talk to him today because I'll end up saying things I'll regret later.

I spent the whole night without talking to Rafael, and the next day too. In fact, I went three days without talking to him. I want him to learn that he can't do that kind of thing without being punished, but I confess that I miss him already, so I'll call him and set something up for tonight.

I called Rafael and we arranged to meet at my apartment.

As soon as he arrived, we sat down to talk. I told him how upset I was with his behavior at the bar the other day, how he exposed our relationship without my consent and without me being present. I thought Rafael would understand and apologize for what he had done.

As soon as I finished speaking, I saw his face transform, and out of nowhere, he just freaked out.

"Are you seriously going to believe that greasy little woman over me?

Do you have any idea what I went through at that table? It was like the Inquisition! I know I was being interrogated, they belittled me and trampled on my dignity.

Even so, I didn't say anything out of respect for you, I kept quiet, I simply left, and at no time did I tell anyone about our relationship, nor did I defend myself against the accusations they made against me or respond to the prejudiced insinuations they made about me."

"Rafael, if you felt uncomfortable, you could have just told me. You didn't need to invent this whole story to leave. I would have understood. My friends are not that kind of people."

"You know what, Bem, I'm leaving. I'm not obligated to go through this. If you don't believe me, there's no point in us being together. I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else."

He left, slamming the door, and all I could think was, where did I tie my goat!? I always knew this was his personality, a vulgar, loudmouth, the extreme opposite of the people I associate with and want to associate with.

What should I do!?

I called Renan and asked him to come over. I told him everything that happened, and I think if we weren't such good friends, he would have definitely punched me in the face.

"Seriously, Bernardo? You're going to believe Barbara, who cheated on you and made sure the entire college knew, who lied to you and made a fool of you? You're going to believe her and not the guy you're with?"

"We're not together! And Barbara is a well-educated woman, she would never do that."

"You're blind, brother, blinded by pride and prejudice."

Renan left very upset, and left me worse than I already was. Great, now I'm prejudiced too. As if! I'm too polite for that.

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