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This is me, Bernardo de Sa Ribeiro.
I'm 25 years old, studying Advertising, single, and straight.
My goal is to reach the top and be recognized for my own achievements. I want to win and prove to everyone that I am not dependent on my father, that I know how to walk on my own two feet. I want to prove that, contrary to what everyone thinks, I am not a spoiled brat who has everything handed to him. I will prove what I am capable of and how far I can go, even if it takes my entire life.
I've heard many jokes, from people who claimed to be "just kidding" saying that I was a spoiled daddy's boy. That my father bankrolled me in everything, that it was he who did half of my work and projects. It didn't matter how hard I tried, how many nights I spent studying, in the end they always said that I didn't deserve it, that it wasn't my merit, that I was helped by my father.
They belittled me many times, made me feel incapable, useless, and undeserving of my achievements, and that destroyed me for a long time. It depressed me and brought me down. Until I decided that no one would ever step on me and my dignity again.
The biggest encourager of my decision was Alice, my ex-girlfriend. One day I arrived at college earlier, and she was sitting at the table with other colleagues. I heard her say:
"What I'm saying, guys, is that Be is such a good investment. He banks me, introduces me to the most important people in society, helps me with classes, comes from a rich family, and is hot. In other words, he is the perfect victim, and the best part is that I don't have to be faithful because Be is always busy with his studies and doesn't even realize that he's being cheated on."
Being treated like an investment opened my eyes to reality. Everyone who got close to me treated me like someone inferior and incapable. Nobody ever really believed that I was capable of doing what was asked of me.
I decided not to get involved with anyone until I reached my goal. Maybe not even then. I will never again trust that someone's feelings for me are true; there will always be doubts.
Would it really be love or just interest?
Today I am a broken guy inside.
I'm ashamed of who I am. And my family.
My family is only rich in money, but my parents hardly ever speak to each other, they sleep in separate rooms, my mother lives sad and depressed, and my father is frustrated and unhappy, and I am right in the middle of it all.
It hurts me to see my mother destroying herself day after day, living on antidepressants and tranquilizers. My father lives for his obsession with paintings. He buys and collects paintings by anonymous artists.
I would have grown up alone and abandoned if it weren't for my best friend Renata. She was always by my side, inviting me to spend vacations with her and her family. I spent almost every weekend at her house and we were always together. She's the sister I never had.
I always knew Re was different but it never bothered me. When she was 13 she started wearing men's clothes. The day she arrived at school wearing baggy jeans, sneakers and a cap was a crazy day. She was happy, her face was glowing, and it was as if she was really being herself at that moment.
Her parents accepted Re's decision well. They took her to therapy and everything.
She underwent hormone treatment and began her transition. At 18, she had surgery to remove her breasts, and I was with her every step of the way. On the day her name was changed on her documents, I threw a big party. My friend was finally happy and complete. Renata is now Renan, my best friend since forever, and I have never been as proud of anyone in my life as I am of him.
Renan went through a lot, and I never saw him complain, get sad or depressed, even after the end of his relationship with that plague Barbara. They had been dating since they were 16. Renan really loved that girl, and she seemed to accept his transition well.
But then, when Renan was still in the hospital recovering from his mastectomy, that she-devil simply sent a message breaking up with him, saying that she wouldn't be able to stay with him looking like a man, that she was a lesbian and liked women, and that it had been a mistake to let things get as far as they did. That's it, a single message with no right of reply, since she changed her number, left town and disappeared.
It took Renan a long time to get over it. He didn't lock himself in the dark or anything, but for a whole year he didn't get involved with anyone. After a year, he hooked up with some random girl at a club, and after that, it was all downhill. He started picking up everyone, a different girl every night, but it never went beyond that.
I'm not the best advisor for these love things, so I just support him, just like he always does with me.
Renan keeps telling me to go clubbing with him, to have fun together, but I'm not really in the mood to be a third wheel. I know he's going to pick up some girl and I'm going to be stuck there looking like a fool.
I was running out of excuses to give him, when out of nowhere he called me and said that I had to go to a club with him because it was his birthday and I had an obligation to be there.
There's no denying a request like that, so, even without a shred of excitement, I decided to accept and make my friend happy.
I'm going to the party, I'm going to enjoy myself as much as I can, and as soon as Renan disappears with some random girl, I'm going to sneak out and go home.
What could possibly go wrong, right?
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Updated 28 Episodes
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Anonymous
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2025-02-22
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