PART 1 "LACK OF EMOTIONS"

I grew up in a poor family, my mother was just a humble saleswoman and my father was a farmer. When I was five years old, I didn't realize how poor we were. All I know is that we have a house to shelter in and we can eat three meals a day.

That time I still feel emotions, such as being happy, angry, pity and worry and so on. Until everything changed when I was ten.

As I grew up, I understood how people treated my parents. They will not treat you well if you are just a poor person. So since that day, I became a practical person and didn't care about others.

At the age of eleven, the state of our lives changed because of the hard work of my mother and father. Here it struck me that the only way to buy happiness and respect is none other than money. People will treat you well if you have a lot of money.

I lost my emotions because I followed my brain rather than my heart.

For me, relationships are just a waste of time. Having one's own child is an obstacle to wealth. Not helping others without money in return. Getting married is just a waste of money. Falling in love is just a waste of money and time.

For me the world, time and life revolves around money.

I lack of empathy, I saw an old man who was run over by a car, I was just standing there looking at him and still couldn't feel the emotion they call "pity".

I lack of remose, I hurt a lot of people emotionally and physically but I can't feel the emotion they call "guilt".

I lack of love, with the many relationships I've been in, I can no longer feel the emotion they call "love".

I don't have all the positive emotions, the only remaining emotions are the negative ones.

I became a popular writer in the genre of psychological, thriller, mystery and gore.

I'm a famous writer but no one really approaches me because others say I have a scary aura. And besides the aura, there is also a rumor that has spread that I am a psychopath.

While I was sitting in the library, suddenly a man approached me. Actually, i find him annoying but the longer our conversation went on, the more I felt comfortable with him.

He told me about his life, he was a smart guy in the class and he was complimented me for being a good writer.

I love talking with him until my perspective on love changed. I don't want to be enslaved but when it comes to him I am enslaved.

It's weird but I'm not a considerate person but when it comes to him, the words "be careful" "don't starve" always come out of my mouth like why does it come out on its own?

I don't care about people but when it comes to him I wait for his reply. I wait for him every day.

The way he speaks, it's nice to hear his feminine voice and his feminine laugh. It's like music, just for my ears. I want him to be mine, no rehab can fix it!!

I didn't like to write poetry before but now I am making poetry and he's the subject. If it's not love, then what is it?

A few days passed, I decided to confess to him and courted him.

Every day, I take and pick him up from school. I also bring him lunch. But my world collapsed when he got sick. I was going to give him medicine but someone gave it to him first and I found out that the woman who gave it to him was also courting him.

And even worse, she was the first and I was the last but instead of giving up, I continued courting him until we talked just the two of us.

"Let's stop this, you don't deserve someone like me," he uttered.

But I held his hand. "You are enough for me," I whispered.

"I'm not handsome enough to experience your courtship," he responded.

"You're not handsome because I think you're pretty gorgeous," I answered him in a seductive tone and grinned.

But I was surprised when he suddenly slapped my hand and looked me in the eye.

"You don't understand me? I'm doing this for you because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you because I don't like you!"

After he said this, he quickly turned his back on me. I was left speechless and laughed softly. Suddenly my tears flowed and my chest tightened.

My emotions returned when he came to me, i was able to feel joy, love and now sadness.

When you fall in love, you forget everything and I don't think I've forgotten myself too.

Now, I was sitting in the conference room while many reporters and cameras flashed in front of me.

"Ms. Sanchez, the story you wrote titled "LACK OF EMOTION" there are rumors that the female character in this story is you in real life. Is this their allegation true?" The reporter asked.

"Ms. Sanchez, Is that why you don't get married because of him?" Another reporter asked.

I smiled lightly. "Everybody said, "FOLLOW YOUR HEART". I did, it got broken."

The noise around me got louder so I just stood up smiling and turned my back on the crowd.

I lack emotions, but I never thought I could feel the emotion they call love. I haven't experienced it again now, so I haven't gotten married yet.

I only felt it with him. He is the first person I see in my future. He was the first man who taught me to be content. He was the first person I fell in love with, the first person I like and he was the first person who taught me to experience being hurt.

I want to blame him because I experienced these emotions but I remembered what I told him before I courted him.

"But if there is really no hope and you really don't like me or you won't like me. You can ignore me no matter what happens......

YOU CAN'T FORCE ME NOT TO LIKE YOU AND I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO LIKE ME."

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