not mimi anymore

i may have 10000 thoughts/doubts they arent shaks they are thoughts they arent shaks they are thoughts they all are thoughts thoughts thoughts and they all get cleared when i meet her , 😒😒 but now a days she has been showing me too much attitude when i ask for things 😒😒 these days im feeling a bit at ease cuz my trust is building up strongly i have sukoon and trust so its goin a bit easy .

well her giving up effected me alot , i still cant get out of that day its still haunting me

i have this fear now every day she comes i get scared , cuz there is no gurrantee these days that she might come any day and talk ab giving up ,

when she was giving up that day i saw in her emotions she had no fear of losing me ,the only thing she wanted to succeed in getting rid of me ,

When a person loses the fear of losing someone thats 💔 i cant explain it its hard to believe that they may just go anytime . they can giveup any time ,

i hate her for doing that i dont like her anymore nor is she my mimi anymore ,

i didn't loved like crazy just so you can giveup on me someday there is no exception even if you get beaten up harshly i still dont want u to giveup , just dont dont dont dont

even if you dont this will still haunt me 😖😖😖

so she got another device yet she never tries to approach me her backup data is too important to her than i am for some reasons this makes me feel so disgusted and all ,

she wants to be pure for me and i want her to keep doing that 😍 it makes me so happy ,

dw ab what cheap tricks other ppl do keep being pure for your bibi ,

i just want a day where we can talk alot , get rid of all the questions im carrying on my heart , and get answers to them , i wanna feel light i wanna feel happy, I wanna have alots of bibi time with her ,

we barely get to talk for even half hour max 2 hours , that feels like 2mins and half hour feels like half min ,

for some reasons im a bit sad she never shows me that how strongly she condemns the cheap tricks and how she felt it would make me happy if i saw her in sad and emotional state but she looked all fine even if she wasnt. she shud have been,

sometimes she talks to me and ignore my questions like i am no one , i hate it but i dont get angry i dont wanna upset her for that i sacrifice my anger just so she can go with a good mood phr doesnt matter if my own mood is fucked up ,

its been years , dozens of fight , dozens of arguements , all kinds of incidents i still love her to the fullest i couldnt find 0.000001% of hate toward her , its kinda crazy but idk lol

She might hate me for not letting her go to certain places , that she would never understand being a girl , she doesnt understand we are already having lots of problems not welcoming any new shit , dont wanna invite any other drama , lets just stay focused on the current one , you may have heard this in islam right this world is just an exam the actuall fun will be in heaven ,

the same thing is what i tell her before marriage this will be the exam i will give you all kinds of happiness go to weddings with you together , take you on trips lunch dinners anything you like , but pls just controll controll untill we get together , then we will do all the things we have been mourning for ,

don't forget to be honest with your bibi, always make me feel your honesty pls just do it once every 2 3 days it would mean the world to me , just come randonly and tell me how badly you are honest with me and how you would never lie to me or hide anything from me , it would make me comfortable and i wouldnt have to worry ab you instead of our problems.

sometimes i think ab why is she buildings this kinda attitude toward me these days , like i wait for her all day and she comes being disobedient and rebellious, i dont get it but may be know the right person to show it to 😒 ....

i want all love all obedience, when i ask for something i want straight answer i dont wanna hear change topic , dont do this i swear it makes me go mad .

btw she is not my mimi anymore cuz she didnt come to me today ,

only if she could feel how badly i wait for her to come then may be she would try extra hard to come ,

imagine having mobile with you and not contacting your bibi 💔💔

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