the reply

"Ryan

listen

I'm happy

I'm happy that you have atleast started to think about marriage and love

but listen

we're impossible

we have been close for more than a year now

did I ever give you a positive signal?

you have all right to choose whoever you like

but I'm sorry that I cannot be the one

I don't say it's wrong of you to like me ,it's how you feel and I am thankful that you are

but that's it

we can be no more than that"

"and why is that?!" Ryan asked with a very sad face

he had never made such face

well he might have made one or two times but that's it

he's not someone who'd tear up over such a thing

in fact he's the one that reject most of the time

Vivian herself witnessed him rejecting 2 or 3 girls

and even 2 guys

but now seeing him in this state made her question that what made him make such a sad face

is it that his self esteem got broken or is he sad that I am not accepting his proposal right now?

but either way she said "Ryan! you know that I am not interviewing in love ,right?"

yes ,she made it clear to him most of the times

that she is not into love and relationships

it's not that she had a bad relationship breakdown or someone like she's into achieving and not currently interested relationships

it's a deep rooted emotion of hers

and she never revealed him the cause

he never forced her to say too

he respects her choice

but now he's so down and wanted to know the reason

if not the past atleast he wanted to know why can't he be the one

he asked her again " Vivian ! if you not going to have any relationships is because of any trauma

you know that I will be the heal for it right?!"

he said

Vivian smiled

the corners of her lips were raised a little

Ryan " the only possible trauma I could have is you loving me ?!"

she said and smiled

"Don try to be funny,Vivian " said Ryan

"and I'm not dude" said Vivian

the mood lightened up a little

Vivian said

"care to have a drink buddy?"

Ryan nodded and went ahead to get the whisky

he had prepared them for their fate after the proposal

but now it came in handy

it would be strong

but it was required for the mood now

he took it and two glasses and one ice box and went ahead

Vivian sat down on the slope

they started having the drink

Ryan didn't speak anything

he wanted to listen

he had many questions in mind

buy he wanted to listen to Vivian

and wanted to know the reason first

Vivian said to Ryan

"Ryan, you know what?

human beings are the most complex creatures

they can change any minute

or they can stay the same for years

they have so much secrets deep inside their heart

just like the night sky

so many secrets as so many stars

and ever-changing or never changing

I may sound so philosophical but that's the truth

I may have shown you some sides of me

and you may have shown me yours

but that's not what I am to the core

you may like me today

and you may feel that I'm right for yours for now

but that won't be the same over the years

and even if it so for you

I don't think it will be for me "

she said

Ryan stared at her blankly

Vivian is a year younger than Ryan

and she is even more childish in behavior most of the time

but she being so serious and mature makes him feel so distant towards her

it's not the first time Ryan noticed this side of hers it's just a rare occasion but it's the tens or twenties of times in this past year

but everytime he sees that side of her

Ryan feels distant towards her

he wants ro mend the differences so bad

but everytime he tries Vivian moves out of it and starts to run away from the topic

but this time Ryan is determined to know more

Ryan said "why don't you try me vivi?!

try Me and say that you are bored after years

I'll try to understand then.

but now

how can you be sure that it will happen

how could you know that

just Give me a try

and what is it that makes you say that

you know what vivi

One moment I think that i know you more than anyone

the next moment you make me feel that you are full of secrets

I do not ask you to share everything that you don't want to open up about

but can't you just open up a little bit to me

be begged "

Vivian felt bad

she never seen him this desperate

but she felt that she could never ever open up

it's not that she had a past that painful that anyone can't understand or know her

but it's still so hurtful that she never wanted to open up

she said to Ryan

Ryan " just know that I've never wanted to distance you

but there are certain things that I never want to open up about

you are my best friend

and that's how far we can ever go

don't expect anything much from me ryan

I know that you would be confused , angry and even feelings a Lil bit betrayed

but that will end within one or two years

but it will heal eventually

so find your happiness in some one else

mah boy

I'm your dude

and I'll only stay so

I hope I made myself clear

Alright

I'll go ahead to the party

you may chill here

But I will wait for my buddy tomorrow morning in his usual self

okay? bye "

she said and walked away

Ryan had so many feelings mixed up

he could not get himself together

and he decided that

no matter what I am going to dig up your past now

I really didn't wanted to do so

I chose to respect your limits

But not anymore

I'm not allowing it If it stops your happiness

Not for rejecting me

but for rejecting any kind of relationships and love

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