2-3weeks later

Like that a several weeks have passed.. i met with Tony for multiple times,we became somehow close and we also contact each other through phone calls.. we usually discuss about my disease but between our discussions we chitchat about our personal life as well as our day to day lifes,although there is not much new things i have to talk about,he always pick up some topics to talk over..it feels unusually pleasant to be around him,,there is never a dull or uncomfortable moment he always have an intresting talking point.. He slowly become my comfort zone that i sometimes share all my thoughts and even cry my heart out.. it make me think 'maybe this is all i ever wanted, someone to talk to, someone who listens, someone who is close to my heart'

beacause all this time i bottled up my thoughts, i rarely share whats in my mind, all the time i try to stay positive as i don't want to worry my mom and love ones. But with Tony i felt he will understand me even if i said anything maybe because he someone who study me or is there something else? i don't know....

<3rd December 2019>

I complete my 2nd cycle of chemotherapy and i cope with the treatment quiet well so as suggested by my doctor we prepared ourselves to leave the hospital for a couple of weeks to celebrate christmas and new year at our own home.. we were so busy packing our belongings we don't even know there was someone knocking our cabin door.. Tony was standing near the door "your so busy you didn't even know the sound of the door knock" he said with all the smiling face

mom- "oh tony your here" smiling back "it's been 5 months since she last saw the house so she is a bit too excited that she did not want to waste another extra minutes here,, she won't even give me a break" they both laugh out loud..

"yes to leave fast, we really need a helping hand here so instead of just standing there why don't you move those hands" i continue with their joke.. with the help of tony we are ready to head home.. Nurse Ann give us discharge advice and we hug goodbye (although we will be seeing each other next year but whatever!) yayyy.. let's go home

We finally reach home after 1 hour of driving Tony is with us.. after he help us carry all our bags, he have some business to do so he left us.

To be at home after so long, it feels so good everything is still the same, my mom cleaned my room beforehand, i take a shower while she prepare for our dinner.. mom- "how are you feeling right now" "soo good" i replied immediately "when your conditions was worst back then i have a thought that we won't be able to stayed home and have dinner together, but today it feels so amazing that we stay here and eating in our own dining table,i don't know how to explain this feeling" mom said while holding her tears back "after your dad left us, i was always worried about us, how you will grow up, can i be a good single mom?that was what i always thought,,but without doubt you grow up to be a good daughter that i was proud of and i believe i also did a good job as a mother... but after we found out about your disease, i feel so unfair, i also blame God, why the good always suffer, if not with these disease you will become a good engineer but my love don't be discourage although we don't want this to happen to us, but it already did so we will fight together and we will always be happy together" she take my hand "promise you will always try your best, i will do anything to protect you".. "yes mom,you've already done so many things for me, i will always do my best and i wish to repay everything you have done for me" i could not hold back my tears "but forgive me,there is nothing much i can do for you" "it's okay love,don't cry, you've done alot".. we sleep together that night we talk for a long time before we fall asleep..

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