Failing in love

Crush, everything is just started as crush.

Just seeing him everyday make my heart flutters and makes me happy.

The little conversation we had, like,

"Did you finished the assignment?"

"Did you submit the homework?"

"Today you're in charge of cleaning."

There are just formal words, but to me, that words are warm and my therapy.

Time goes by.....

A week changed into a month. It's been a month since he came to this school. But my feelings for him never changed, it just got developed.

Crush…changed into to love…

Love changed into desire...

Desire became inevitable.

That's why I'm going to confess my feelings for him.

I want to take the step, the step I'm always afraid of. I don't want that look when he looks at me, like I'm a just a girl from his class. Likewise, I want to change the look, the way he looks at me.

Little did I know that what's the future is holding for me.

D-Day

Today is the day I'm going to confess to him. I've must up courage. I even make my self pretty.

But the rumor just got me.

There was a rumor that 12grade sec C class president and sec A president are dating.

Ahhhhh, just the thing I want to hear, But of course I don't believe it. They are just saying something nonsense. I showed him the every signs that I like him and class A president she is the queen, she is beautiful, talented, and she was rich. Of course, they are a perfect match, but she and nova are dating. There is rumor about it too. It all so like that, it's not truth.

Even though, I was afraid that, it'll be the truth, so I wanted to ask him. I really run fast to ask him about it. But to just stand in there, I really wanted to ask him. How can I ask? I'm a nobody to him, I'm just a girl in his nor his friend nor nothing.

When one of the student ask him about the rumor. Do you know what he said.

Aden : yes, we're dating. We have been dating for one week.

Can really words bring doom to someone, that words destroyed my whole world. It feels like my whole world stopped for a moment. I don't even know, but I'm just burst into tears, the main thing is, he is smiling when he said that, he must love her very much.... I just run over to the bathroom to cry.

Well, I'm just a coward who can't even true to her feelings. If anything happens or hurt me, I just run away from their. I'm always failing in everything.

But..... right now, I don't to run away. At least I should tell him how I feel about him, that's what I wanted to do. I know it's crazy, but I wanted to do the craziest thing that I have ever done. It's just unfair that losing a game without even playing. I know that I'm going to lose, but at least I wanted to try it.

I saw him first. I fall in love with him first. So, it's my rights.

There is a theory in psychology, "If you like someone just tell them you like them even though they don't have any feelings for you, they eventually tend to like you." I'm betting on this.

I'm going to confess to him.

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