Love?

(In phone)

"How've you been, Anna?" (Anna is my only BFF)

"Yes! I'm fine, How've you been?"

I'm just fine.

What's with the tone, is something is wrong?

No, It's not like that. Enough about me. You said something important, come on, tell me.

Guess, what, I got a boyfriend. HEHEHE, it's funny right, but it's really true. Hey! Even I can't believe myself.

HEY! Awesome, really, good for you Anna. Go…go... girl.

Are not you going to get a boyfriend, in here they are in love with each other from 7th grade. We're really far away from love Aster, so get your self work up.

Me! Love, you know that I can't even know how to talk with boys.... anyway, bye. Let's talk another time.

"Love" What is really love? Does anybody have an answer about it? . I've never been in love, so I was just curious about what it would feel when you're loved by someone. I really want to feel it. But I'm afraid, I don't know that I'm afraid of love or just I'm afraid of me. (sighs...)

(Alarm blaring)

But nowadays, I'm pretty much interested to make my self pretty. Because I want to good look in front of him

It's been a week since Aden came, as soon as he came he became a class president, and he is very kind and generous. He became friends with everyone, and even he is the teacher favorite. How can a person is such a handsome and lovely man.

He is my crush, my school crush in 12th grade. I really want to get to know him and get closer to him. Became his friend and receiving his love...... How would it feel?

But for people like me, always overthinking, has anxiety and having trust issues. It's not easy to love, when you can't even love yourself, constantly fighting with thoughts. Just living with depression. It's not even easy to breathe.

Do you remember, when we were kid whenever we built sand house some friends came and destroy it, so we built it one more time, in this time we protect it from them by building a fence, We are still following that

That's why I build a barrier around me, where no one can enter, in here it's just me and my thoughts. In here it's just dark, the real self lies here. Sometimes when I think that I should tell that how I feel. The mere first thought was just shut up, everyone leaves you if you said that and everyone will hate her (you).

"Because, I know her and I hate her."

The real me is a

liar,

thief,

manipulative,

envious,

hater.

But in deep down, we all are kids who are failed to protect.

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