Chapter 2-2

'As you guys walking, Zara asked if you were hungry. You guys ate together. Exchanged phone numbers...' Saurabh said, breaking my story narration.

'What? How do you know this?' I said. A waiter saw us out on the balcony. He came to us with a tray of drinks. Despite Saurabh's attempts to stop me, I picked up a glass of whisky.

'Arrey, bhai, please. You ordered a plain dosa. She ordered a parantha. The parantha wasn't good. You gave her your dosa. The rest is history. Let's go in. I am turning to ice here'.

He hugged himself. I took a big sip of whisky. It went down my throat like a little ball of fire.

'Have a drink,' I said, 'it will make you feel less cold.'

'Not really. Alcohol actually leads to hear loss. It is heat coming out that makes your skin feel warm.'

'Golu, seriously, stop the JEE chemistry. It's New Year's Eve,' I said. I brought the glass close to him mouth. He looked at me once, then with great reluctance took a sip.

'Good job, my Golu,' I said. 'So you know about the dosa too? You want to know about our next meeting? The first real date?'

'Please, no, bhai. Let's hang out with the other staff inside. They already think we are antisocial.'

'Screw them. We freaking hate this job,' I said. 'How do you expect us to socialise?'

'Let's talk to them a little bit.'

'In a minute. I just need to make a call.'

I pulled out my phone. I opened Zara's contact. Saurabh saw her picture.

'No, Bhai, no.' He reached for my phone. I ran ahead of him as he clumsily and unsuccessfully chased me.

'Bhai, my Kasam. You are not call calling her.'

'It's New Year. I can't even wish her?'

'Bhai, no!' he said as I shahed him.

'Shh. It's ringing,' I said. I used my left hand to keep Saurabh at a distance and my right hand to hold this phone to my ear.

One ring. Two rings. Five rings. Seven rings.

'Hello?' I said as I heard a voice. 'Hello, Zara. Don't hang up, okay?'

'The person you have dialled cannot be reached. Please try again later.' It was the Airtel lady, the emotionless bitch. If only she knew how important this call was to me.

'Couldn't get through? Good. Leave it,' Saurabh said.

I dialled again. Same seven rings. Same cold Airtel bitch.

'Stop it, bhai. She will see all those missed calls and freak out.'

'I don't care,' I said. Once you have already faced the humiliation of giving the other person multiple missed calls, it doesn't matter if it is two or three. Or seven. Or ten.

That is why I dialled her a tenth time. And this it wasn't the Airtel lady.

'Hello'. I heard Zara's voice. Her one word alone made me feel better than any whisky in the world could.

'Hey, Zara,' I said, clearing my throat and stretching the 'hey' longer than necessary. Saurabh let out a sigh of disappointment. I stepped away from him.

'Yes, Keshav,' she said in measured tones. She sounded cold. Colder than the Airtel lady.

I wondered what to say next. 'I have been trying to call you,' I managed to say

'I know. And you should realise that if someone doesn't pick up the phone ten times, then maybe they can't talk.'

'Nine times. Not ten. Anyway, are you busy?' I said. 'I can call later.' I needed an excuse to call her again and hear her voice another time. I heard music in the background. She was at a party too. Maybe in the black sari. I wondered if her idiot loser boyfriend was with her.

'What is it, Keshav? Why have you called me?' she said.

I stepped to a corner of the balcony. Saurabh did not follow but kept an eye on me from a distance.

'I just wanted to say happy New year. Why are you interrogating me like this?' I said.

'Hold on a second,' she said, as her attention shifted from me to someone else at the party. 'Hi,' I heard her say, 'you look lovely too.'

'Zara, are you there?' I said, when I didn't hear anything for long while.

'There are just too many people here. Anyway. You know what we decided, right?'

'To be together forever and ever?' I said. Damn, why did I have to say that?

'What?'

'Didn't we, when we went on our trip? New Year in Goa.'

'That was a long time ago, Keshav.'

'Six years ago, 2011 New Year's Eve,' I said. When the heart breaks, the past of the brain that stores date on past days works perfectly.

'I meant when we broke up. We decided to not be in touch. Something you don't follow. It's been years since we broke up now.'

'Okay, so kill me. Kill me because I called to wish you. Kill me because New Year's Eve makes me remember you. Or kill me because it is the anniversary of the day we first made love.'

'Keshav, stop it.'

'Stop what? Thinking about you? I wish I could,' I screamed. 'I so freaking wish I could.'

Saurabh came running to me. He gestured to check what the matter was. I shook my head. He motioned for me to put the call on speaker. I complied.

'Are you drunk?' Zara said in her soft, almost carrying voice.

'How does it fucking matter? Drunk or not, I miss you, Zara. What are you doing with that loser Raghu?'

'Stop calling him names, Keshav. And I have to go.'

Saurabh sliced his hand in the cold Delhi air, indicating I end the call. Of course, I ignored his sane advice.

'Oh, so protective of your Raghooooo,' I said, mocking his name. 'Maggu Raghu. That's what they called him in hostel. You know that? Mag - gu Rag - hu.'

'I don't have to take this, Keshav,' Zara said, 'I an going to hang up. Don't call me back.'

'So touchy for that freaking nerd. That nerd who loves his **** - all dotcom company more than anything else. He can never love you like I do.'

'That **** - all dotcom company is one of India's hottest startups --- and Raghu created it. Do you know its valuation? Why am I even telling you this?' Zara said, her voice irritated.

'So that is why you went to him. For his money,' I said.

'I went to him because I wanted to belong. I wanted a family. And you were running scared. Instead of Manning up, you abused my folks.'

'And what did your folks do?'

'You have tried this before. It won't work. You can't provoke me. Now, bye. Don't call me again or I will have to block you.'

'Block me? Are you bloody threatening to block me ----'

I had to stop mid - sentence because she had ended the call.

'Anyway, even I have to go,' I said to nobody on the phone.

'She's cut the call, bhai,' Saurabh said. Fine, she hung up on me. Why pretend she didn't?

I looked at Saurabh. I expected a slap. He came forward and hugged me. The whisky, rejection and his hug added up. I began to cry loudly.

'Bloody bitch. "I will have to block you" ---- I love her every minute and this is what she says to me,' I said between sobs.

'Bhai, you have to leave this girl. It's been too long,' Saurabh said.

'I am so over her,' I said. The biggest lie of the freaking millennium.

'Good. Shall we go in?'

'Wait. I have to call her once more. I have to tell her I am over her.'

'No, bhai, no...'

Before Saurabh could react, I had dialled number again. The phone rang. I expected her to cut the call. However, someone pick up.

'Yes?' a male voice said on the other end. Damn, it was the lover of the century, Raghu.

'Oh,' I said, 'happy new year.'

'Listen, Keshav, I want to be civil, but I have to tell you to stop bothering Zara.'

Fucker, who was he? Her dad? Her watchman? And 'I want to be civil', who talks like that? What the hell does that even mean?

'I am not bothering her,' I said, trying not to slur.

'I think you are. And you do this regularly.'

'I don't.'

'It has happened many times in my presence. Please stop. I am requesting you,' Raghu said, his voice pissed and calm. He probably only had coconut water to drink on New Year's Eve.

'See, bro,' I said, trying to figure out what to say next, the whisky making it difficult for me to structure a logical, decent sentence. All I really wanted to say was, '**** off, Zara is mine.' However, even in my drunken state, I knew that wasn't the best idea.

'Just cut the call,' I heard Zara's voice over his. Bitch. Bitch to the power of five.

'Yes, Keshav?' Raghu said, his voice patient.

'See, bro,' I repeated. 'Can I speak to Zara?'

'She doesn't want to speak to you.'

'How do you know? Give her the phone.'

'She just told me. Now can you let us be in peace? Happy new year. Bye.'

'Listen, Raghu,' I said, my voice dropping.

'What?'

'Listen, Raghu, I will come and...' I said things I don't want to respect here. Mostly because I don't remember them. I think it involved me doing unmentionable things to Raghu's mother, sister and probably grandmother. I said all this in explicit Hindi, using words that would make even the truck drivers of Rajasthan blush.

'And I will take a danda and...' I said as Saurabh took the phone from me. He cut the call and kept my phone in his pocket.

'What chutiapa are you doing?' Saurabh yelled at me, something he never does. I looked away from him as I realised what I had done.

'You were cursing Zara,' he said.

'Nope. Only Raghu,' I said.

'Have you lost all shame?' Saurabh said.

'I just wanted to speak to Zara. Asshole picked up.'

'Because she doesn't want to talk to you,' Saurabh said.

'I am fucking never even calling her again.'

Saurabh shook his head and smiled sadly.

'I mean it'

'Why are you obsessed with this girl?'

'May I have my phone back?' I said softly.