I got to the classroom and sat in the corner, as far away from everyone as possible, I didn't want anyone to notice how awful I felt. It took a while, but then some students started arriving, and after a while the brute came into the room, looked at me as he entered and sat in the other corner.
I'm praying there's no partner work today because otherwise I'm going to freak out.
Luckily class went by fast and before I knew it, it was break time. We didn't have any partner work for now, thank God.
I left the classroom and went to the locker room, which was not in use at this time, and I had to lie to the janitor that I had forgotten something important in my locker, so as soon as he let me in, I ran and grabbed my things and took a quick shower, it wasn't the best, but it already helped a lot to get the stink off me after I sweated a lot in training earlier.
As soon as I left, the bell rang and I quickly went back to the classroom, I walked in with the teacher.
I usually do well in school and I enjoy studying in general, although I don't like one subject or another, but at that moment I just wanted the bell to ring for me to go home, I couldn't take it anymore, I just wanted to disappear. And to make matters worse, the jerk kept looking at me every now and then, ugh. I really needed to talk to him, but at the same time I didn't know if I should, so I just wanted to go home and nothing else.
5 minutes before the bell rang to go home, I texted Rafa that I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't wait for her to go home, and as soon as the bell rang I rushed home.
XXX
Arriving home, I lay down on the bed and started thinking, I needed this, to think about everything that's been going on. Things are getting out of my control, I no longer like the things I used to, I'm already putting my friendship in a situation where it can be undone very quickly, because I'm hiding something serious. Ever since this boy showed up my life has turned upside down, I don't know what to do anymore, but I have faith that everything will be alright soon.
~ Days later ~
Today is Saturday, I'm still as confused as before, and increasingly distant from Rafa, I can't look her in the eye like before, it feels like I'm betraying her, and in a way I am. Today is the opening of the championship, so I need to be at school by 9am. Actually the ideal is that I arrive earlier to help the coach organize everything, so I'm going to get ready so I'm not late.
As soon as I did my hygiene, I left the room and went to the kitchen to get some coffee.
Paula: Where are you going, honey?
Luan: Duh, I'm going on a trip.
Paula: What do you mean you're going on a trip?
Luan: To the opening of the championship, duh, I told you.
Paula: No you didn't tell me.
Luan: Ahh, I'm sorry, my head's been so all over the place lately I think I forgot to tell you, sorry, I'm going to California today and I'll be back tomorrow, at night I think.
Paula: As far as the trip goes, that's fine, but what's going on in that little head of yours? You were never one to forget to tell me something like that...
Still Marcos?
Luan: I can't even hide it, can I?
Paula: Honey, you need to talk to that boy, because you look terrible. You can't let something like that get you down so much, after all life has to go on, and you can't blame yourself for all the problems in the world, you need to relax a little. Talk to him and sort it out, that way you'll be able to live more peacefully.
Luan: You're right, as always. I'll try to talk to him, maybe I'll feel better. Actually I've been thinking about it for a few days now, but honestly, I lacked the courage, I'm afraid to hear what he's going to say.
Paula: You're only going to know what he's going to say if you talk to him. Either way, the way it is, you can't go on.
Luan: Thanks, Mom, you're always amazing, but I gotta go now. Love you, see you tomorrow, take care.
Paula: I love you too, honey, good luck with the conversation and with the game, I love you too.
Luan: Actually we're not playing it's just the opening, but thanks anyway, kisses. (I said as I walked out the door).
I took a taxi to school, because of my suitcase, which wasn't big, but I thought it would be more practical that way, and when I got there the coach was already by the bus with a bunch of papers in his hand.
Coach: It's good that you're here, Luan, good morning, put your bag in the luggage compartment and help me with the list of players I need to get some more things at school.
Luan: Good morning, coach, okay, you can go there and give me the papers and I'll take care of it here.
As soon as I got the papers Marcos' name was already marked with a C, I thought it was strange, and when I looked inside the bus there he was, already sitting inside, my God, this boy woke up early here, that's all I can say.
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2024-10-15
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