To Be Continued...

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* sigh *

It's been one week since everything in my life turned upside down. I don't know how I am going to overcome that. it hurts like hell. Why didn't I die too!? I'm like a living dead body now. The house is too quiet now. The once vibrant walls echoed with laughter, the constant chatter of dinner conversations everything was still.

I sit beside the window in the room, staring outside and thinking about the past memories. I lightly traced my fingers on the window glass, drawing a sad emoji.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to feel completely alive. To have a family, a home full of life. All I could recall now was a faint echo of their voices, an image of my father’s strong though soft hands on my head, the teasing laughter of Crystal, the blush on Yang's cheeks, Johan was someone whom I always used to rely on if I needed any help, Ali's crazy dance at the party never failed to make my day even if I'm in depression he always knows how to light up my mood, the way my mother would hum a lullaby as she prepared dinner—every single details. Now, it was all gone—like fragments of a dream slipping through my cold fingers like sand in the fist.

I opened my eyes again and the silence in the room seemed louder than it ever had before. It pressed on my chest, squeezing the air from my lungs. I couldn't breathe. The surrounding emptiness wasn’t just the room—it was inside me, consuming me, hollowing me out.

The guilt settled in my chest, heavy and brutal like a mountain of cactus.

"Why I was the only one left behind?"

I had seen them all go, while I was the one who somehow survived. I can not understand why. My mother, with her soft hands and warm smile, her father’s protective embrace, Crystal, Yang, Johan, Ali—all gone. The weight of their absence was like a storm crashing inside me, each wave of grief stronger than the last.

I wanted to scream at the world, to shout at the injustice of it all, but nothing came out. The world outside carried on as if nothing had changed, as if it hadn’t stolen everything I loved.

* knock, knock *

I heard a noise from behind so I looked behind and saw Rony standing in the doorway, his expression is a mix of concern and confusion. He had been with me since the day the storm had taken my family away. We were the only survivors.

His voice was soft, barely a whisper.

" Alice, you need to eat something. You haven't eaten anything for one week. "

" I’m not hungry. "

I replied but my voice was cold and distant, though I wasn’t sure if it was me that I was angry with or the world.

" Alice…"

He stepped closer, his face etched with worry.

" You have to— "

" I said I’m not hungry! "

The words snapped out of me before I could stop them, sharp and cutting. I turned away from him, looking out the window at the empty street where the cherry blossoms had fallen.

" Rony, I don't want to eat anything, nothing is going to sallow through my throat. I feel like I'm going to vomit if I eat anything. "

Rony didn’t leave. He didn’t push me to eat either. He just stood there, waiting, silent.

I felt the rage rise again—against the world, against myself. How could they have been taken? Why was I spared? Why was I still breathing when they were gone?

" You don’t understand. "

 I muttered, barely above a whisper, my voice breaking as tears began to pool in my eyes.

" You don’t get it. How could you? I lost everything. "

" I may not completely understand what you’re going through. "

Rony said softly, his voice steady.

" But I’m here. I’ll be here for you. I won’t leave you alone. "

I turned sharply, looking at him through tear-filled eyes. His words felt hollow, as if they didn’t reach me, as if the void inside me had grown too large for anyone to fill.

The silence stretched between us, a chasm that neither of us can cross at this time. I looked at Rony, my heart aching with the knowledge that he was the only one left, the only one who could possibly understand the weight of the loss I was carrying. But even he, as close as he was, couldn’t truly understand what I was going through. But I know how much he is trying to understand and trying to minimize my pain. I also know how much he is suffering because our friends were like our family and he was also really connected with my family. His parents stayed outside of the country most of the time because of their work so he used to spend most of his time in my house. So, I know how much pain he is in.

" Alice..."

Rony said, his voice broken. I haven't realized I have been holding my breath until his words softened the air.

" We’ll get through this. Together. "

I nodded. The pain was still there—sharp, raw, relentless—but for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel quite as alone. I was ensured that Rony was with me.

And for a fleeting moment, as Rony reached out, I allowed myself to let his hand brush against mine, the smallest connection in a world that had turned into an ocean of grief. Maybe it wouldn’t be easy, and maybe I can not heal overnight. But I wasn’t completely alone. Not anymore, never was. Rony, is with me. So I will try my best.

* I squeezed his hand tightly, and closed my eyes *

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\*....To be continued....\*

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