RIAN'S PAST

RIAN'S POV

"mom why don't you look at me?"_"dad please stop hitting me!" why do people hate me? am I really that much of an annoyance? "I'm sorry, it's all my fault. don't get angry please" ah I'm getting tired of all this, when did I start being like this? why do I need to apologize? ah my heart hurts, will someone come and listen to my words? please someone even if I don't know you, come and save me please, I'm begging!. this words of pleadings and endless pain, I always remeber everytime I close my eyes how to put it, hmmmmm... it's too painful to remember but it's too deeply engrave to forget.

everything start when I was 3 years old, my mother who's gentle and caring started to ignore me, my father who's I thought was the strongest person and the kindest of all start on abusing me and bring woman here and there. where did it go wrong? why did you change? I thought you love me? I grow up thinking of those words and I started to change too, in the past I would smile brightly but the smile is gone together with those laughters without a trace,where did they go?. I grow farther and farther from my parents, I don't even have a single friend. at school I would always get bullied for being neglected until I slowly change, the person who stays quiet all the time bacame tired of everything and wanna die but 'I DON'T LIKE PAIN' with that in mind I started to fight those bullies I came from being a bullied loser to a delinquent. I never lose a fight but that doesn't makes me happy at all everytime I go home I'll get beaten by my father this continue until I turn 14, my mom and dad died in a accident leaving me alone, what comes to mind at times like this you ask? 'HEY, AREN'T YOU BEING UNFAIR? WHY DID THE TWO OF YOU DIE? AREN'T I THE ONE WHO'S SUFFERING!? WHY!? I'M THE ONE WHO WISHED THAT I'M DEAD! WHY IS IT THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S RELIEF!?' words just got into my mind and I went insane, after a few weeks I've gone back to my normal self. when I've calmed down people started to talk about sending me to an orphanage but I disagree, I want to take care of my self. I use my parents death insurance to continue studying I started working part-time too and everything went normally. eveytime I got to get some rest I'll read some manga's, manhua's,manhwa or watch anime. I'll do everything to drift from reality even just for a bit. I've been like this since I was a kid, the only reason why I can still hold on and keep on living, the only inspiration I have, the last strand of hope I got– but even if I always say that there's still part of me that wanna die or something, that's when I realize it 'I'M JUST RUNNING AWAY AGAIN' it's not like I want to continue living just to read the next chapters or watch the next episode, I never want to live I'm just really afraid of pain. I wanna die a painless death. until my dream change and I woke in a unfamiliar body, I'm not in pain again, I just need to live in a right way, I might have some people who'll like me and love me, dote in me, spoil me, ah– I'm not alone anymore I hope in this life I can be happy.

that's that for now and I want to talk about inspiration alright? when I first enter MANGATOON I accidentally add ~THIRTEEN~ I didn't really mean it really, then she accept me immediately, I'm so happy! someone actually agree to be my friend then I start reading his post story 'WHAT'S THE ANSWER' and then I got inspired to write, I copy her writting style a bit and the the characters profile, as for the name it came from my own but I'm shock that I actually used her name ones again. I'm not copying her and this is definitely not plagiarized if I really did do she would probably protest on me but instead she actually like me story so I'm happy @~THIRTEEN~ I'm genuinely waiting for the next chapter of your post story thank you

^^^ -red^^^

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