Now Watch This Villainess Make You Kneel Before Her

Chapter 3 ~ Past Life ~

•♡ Hira's Pov ♡•

When did my life began to trail down? How did I end up the way i did, in blood and regretful tears.

With one thing, wrongful mistake: to fall for that cruel man. Alex.

In the Midst of a beautiful spring when Granna had called me to come back to Country A after 9 years being abroad away from everyone. I was sent abroad at 11 because of an incident that left me scarred.

So I did, excited to meet everyone, I prepared gifts and cards.

But..

to my dismay, it seemed no one was excited to me. Or so it seemed.

Back then i never noticed because i was so busy being enthusiastic about earning everyone's favor and having them love me an care for me.

However, it made sense the expression that i was met with when I got off at the airport.

Everything had changed; nothing was the same.

Some days passed and I met with Alex. The guy I had had troubled for years back when we were children. He was the only son of the Millers

He had changed so much. It was no longer the youngest annoying brother but a much more mature and rather good looking man.

And then for the next three years I chased around this man like a moth to fire. All because he made my heart flutter, because i was in love with him.

My Granna noticed, she saw how happy this man made me. How loved i felt, how comfortable i was.

And I though he did too. We were always hanging out, laughing and messing around.

I only learnt 6 months into our marriage arranged by Granna at her death bed that he never loved me: he only ever saw me as his "sister". As someone so pathetic that he pitied, he married her because our family had a marriage alliance.

When this man had another woman. His ex-girlfriend.

Of course, as an experienced lawyer that was exposed to media quite often, his scandals with his ex seemed never-ending.

His actions hurt me, seeped into my heart like needles and fed on it like leeches.

I told him to stop. That it hurts me. That it's wrong.

Yet, nothing pained me more than his response, "You must know i only agreed to this marriage because it was forced on me and I didn't have much of a choice. But now, i can't do this anymore. I'm sorry but let's get a divorce. I love someone else."

Tell me something that hurts more than that last line. I'll tell you, nothing. Nothing did at the time.

I was desperate to have him love me back, the way he used to.

To get back to how we were; always laughing, being friendly, loving and caring.

What changed? Nothing. But that it was never true.

He lied.

Many times. And each time he got away with it.

I tried everything to get him to separate from his ex. I spread rumors about her, tried to ruin her modeling career. I bribed her co-workers to bully her. Just so she'd be a bit more miserable than I was.

But she always won, regardless. She had him. I didn't.

And as if that wasn't enough, I hired people to scare her, kidnap her.

I didn't wanna hurt her. I just wanted her gone. But she never took the hint.

Jealousy is so dangerous, if it gets out of control you'll either burn everyone around you or yourself.

I burned myself with the intention of burning everyone else.

Eventually, someone had to find out. And the one person i wish never found out about all of my misdeeds was Alex.

Nevertheless, the wind of fate doesn't bow at you command; The night his ex escaped the kidnapping, he had everything investigated. I didnt realise I had done such a bad job at being the Villain: I was found immediately.

Everything is so vivid in my memory, so clear and distinct.

When i heard the doors of our house being banged on loudly and him charging in, i knew what was about to unfold; murder.

His hands came for my throat, his words for my heart. And his hostile gaze for my soul; all of which were left bruised and shattered.

That raging night, i fell to my knees and cried for hours. Time seemed timeless. My eyes seemed tearless yet i kept tearing up. I regretted everything.

Because then I realised i truly had lost him.

We could never laugh no more. Never smile. We could never make jokes anymore. I'd never be able to hold his hand.

Yet I still loved him.

He was horrible to me but i was horrible to him too. To the people he loved.

Regret filled my whole being, guilt was now my whole mood, my whole emotions. And it wouldn't let go of me.

I was chained to every single bad thing that i had done to her now matter how much i tried to pull myself out of it, it wouldnt let go of me.

I did everything to let go of the guilty feeling: close off everyone, surround myself with meaningless luxury and worldly materialistic objects.

But it didnt matter. I was only avoiding it.

I needed to face it.

Every once of guilt and the worse feelings that came with it lead me to counselling with a therapist.

Sessions after sessions, the feeling became worse.

I realised how wrong, terrible, pathetic i was.