episode 5

"E-Eivan! Why would you bring up

weird things like that at the table?

Father, calm down!"

Sidan, who especially loved Eivan,

tried to change Eivan's mind by

shouting at him, persuading him,

coaxing him, and telling stories of

those who came back from war as a

cripple, but to no avail.

After quietly watching him, Reuyen

spoke. "Eivan, you can't even

stomach that much."

"I'm..."

"A battlefield is a place where you

have to march on even if you want to

stop and vomit at the dead's guts

rolling around, and run straight into

your death with oil splashed all over your body if your commander tells

you to. It's a place of death where no

one cares about ten, twenty foot

soldiers dying to save one single

knight. You could be one of them.

And an edged sword is different than

a training sword. Once the battle

starts, you have to cut a man's throat

like a piece of meat, smash the

enemy's face with your shield, open

his chest and plunge a dagger into

his beating heart, and cut off the legs

of those who are chasing you. It's

customary to cut an arm or a leg of

those who have surrendered if you

can't take them as prisoners, so they

can never hurt the ones you love

again. Reward comes from killing an

enemy, not protecting your country.

And when the enemy aims for you, they are thinking the same thing.

Wouldn't they have the same kind of

patriotism as you?"

Sidan shivered at Reuyen continuing

without showing any emotion,

dabbing her lips with her napkin.

Reuyen noticed this and added with a

sigh,"...or so I've read somewhere.

Anyway, a battlefield is not a place

for someone who cries over one dead

horse, like you. Trust me."

"Ugh, what on earth was that?" asked

Sidan. "Where did you read that? And

why the hell were you reading it?"

"None of your business," she

snapped. "Maybe you should read

some books."Leaning on the wall where Jess

pushed him, Eivan silently listened

to his sister. Jess just stared at his

daughter, even forgetting that his

son had stopped insisting that he

would go to war. He looked worried

that she had said such unexpected

things in such a composed manner.

In the silent dining room, Reuyen

looked back at her father and

grinned.

Thanks to Reuyen's warning, if one

could call it that, Eivan started to

give in. After Senila's tearful begging,

and Sidan's desperate pestering, he

finally took back his announcement.

About twO weeks later, Eivan told the

family that he was going on a tripwith a couple other young men in

town to cool off. Senila, who had

been nervous the whole time, gave

him a bit of pocket money, saying

that she'd rather have him be on a

vacation. Jess, who was still mad at

Eivan, indirectly permitted it by

telling him to just get out of his

sight.

Early morning in the beginning of

winter, Eivan found Reuyen at the

door, wanting to say goodbye when

everybody else was still asleep. He

ruffled her hair and gave her a bitter

smile.

"When I think about it, you were

always different. Sometimes to the

point it became scary. I am relieved to have such a wonderful child as my

sister," he said. A quiet utterance.

Reuyen let him ruffle her hair

without saying anything, looking at

him through the fog made by her

breath.

"As the oldest daughter, you have a

lot of responsibilities. You know that,

right? When I'm not here, you

protect the family."

"Sounds like a last word."

With his eyes widened with surprise,

Eivan lowered his head and put his

forehead against Reuyen's. Not

showing any emotion, Reuyen kept

her light, cat-like eyes open and

stared straight into his. Eivan's low laughter resounded in the morning

air.

"Eivan, it's not too late to give up,"

she said.

"Reuyen." He shook his head. "Listen.

We need to fight. I hear Morgana has

reinforced their army by tens of

thousands."

"It's an exaggeration."

"Exaggeration or not, it's still true

that there is a war going on right

next to Galabua. We're safe now, but

if things go wrong, our town will not

be safe anymore. And if the war

doesn't end soon, we'll have to pay a

lot more taxes."

She set her jaw."I don't care." He sighed. "Reuyen, you're smart

enough to understand what I'm

saying. If Morgana's reinforcements

come and start attacking with full

force, our border will fall right away.

And what would happen if Rarke

loses? Even if what I've heard is all

just a rumor, nothing changes. It's

still true that our enemies are getting

closer by the minute. Toby from the

fenced house and Hald from the

Reeses are joining me. I'nm fine with

me alone not changing anything and

my not being strong enough to do

one man's part. It's better than doing

nothing. I, someone who cries over

one dead horse, might have to kill

another man, like you said. I probably

will. But I can promise you this. I will

never kill for the sake of killing. I am leaving to protect. To protect our

town...and to protect our family."

Thinking that Eivan's face suddenly

looked sorrowful, Reuyen put an old

handkerchief around his wrist

without another word.

She could guess what kind of speech

the royal army would have given to

awaken the patriotism in the young

country men. And what kind of

hopeful and fearful thoughts the men

would have had when they heard that

speech.

Reuyen kissed his cheek a little

longer than usual. "I wish you good

fortune in war." A small figure in a black robe came

into Reuyen's sight when she

crouched down to organize the

toward the house in the dark and the

rain was someone she knew very

well.

flower pots. The man staggering

"oh..."

A pot slipped through her hands and

fell to the floor with a crash.

"Reuyen?" her mother called. "Is

everything all right?"

Surprised, Senila came running from

the kitchen. Reuyen fixed her eyes on

the window, staying completely still.

The rain poured even louder. Knock knock knock.

Her mother went to open the door.

"Toby? Aren't you Toby fronm the

fenced house?"

It was small Toby, who had left with

Eivan. The young man had a new

deep wound on his left cheek, and he

suddenly kneeled on the cold,

battered floor.

"Ma...dam Senila...Reuyen..."

"What in good heavens..." began

Senila."Wait, didnt you leave with

my son? What happened? Where's

Eivan?"

Bloodied armor showed through his

sleeves as he lay on the floor. Clang.

Reuyen saw the moment her mother finally realized the smell of blood

was mixed with the smell of rain;

Senila froze.

"I'm-I'm so sorry, so, so, Sorry..."

"Toby, why are you here alone?

Where's Eivan?"

Trying to swallow the hiccupping

sobs, Toby handed her an old

handkerchief that was now stained a

nonchalantly with a spoon in his

mouth, and Jess, who was sulking in

the corner with his eyes on Toby,

dark red. Sidan, who'd come

both kept their silence.

"Toby...?"

"Eivan..was trying to save, save

me...I was too scared...ran...away..." "Where is my son...where...?"

Toby's sob burst out, breaking his

voice."I...report."

Stopping herself from covering her

ears, Reuyen shut her eyes.

She pictured the man who had left

with such a pure desire to protect the

ones he loved on the horizon of that

beautiful morning where you could

see your own white breath. His back

had seemed so wide and so

dependable.

I wish you good fortune in war.

Good fortune. What a meaningless

thing to wish for on a battlefield.

From one who knew very well that

one could not rely on fortune. "As a fell...ow in the army of Rarke,

third brigade, Ei-Ei-Eivan Detua slew

an enemy knight and proudly fell...

Forgive me. Please, forgive me. I'm

sorry. I'm so...rry.. Sorry..."

A teardrop trickled down Reuyen's

cheek as she stared at her mother

falling to her knees.

"You...bastard.." Father muttered

with his head tilted back, crushing

her heart.

It was a rainy, dark evening.

A few years ago, there had been an

imperial decree by the emperor of Morgana, a country that was drunk

with the title "the only empire on the

continent."

"Morgana is upholding the great

responsibility of bringing order to

this continent. Therefore, the

neighboring countries shall double

their tributes."

But everyone knew all that gld and

treasure would go into building their

new palace.

This proclamation provoked Rarke,

which had endured all the years of

shame since the queen's war from

two hundred years ago, just waiting

for the right moment to set

everything straight again. The

vengeful royal family of Rarke not complying with the new order was

almost opportunistic.

As always, a war was sparked by a few

people's interests disguised as

conviction.

Of the three young men in the town

who had left saying they were going

on a trip, one died, and another came

back in bloodied armor.

Those who heard the news started a

commotion. Some were even

planning on moving away after

hearing a rumor that the

Morganaans, having won battle after

battle, had set foot in Rarke. Some

went to visit Toby, half nervous and

half excited that they might be able to hear the news of their husband or

son who had gone to war as well. But

Toby had already left, and an unusual

despair and anxiety covered the

town.

Reuyen took the anxiety, fear, and

sadness with more calmness than

anyone else. War was something very

familiar to her life.

When she closed her eyes, she could

still see and hear her memories of

war like it had happened yesterday.

Riding in the fog, reeking of blood,

passing through horses, enemies,

comrades, and corpses. As if guided

by instinct, she rode in search of

another living enemy among all the

dead. She remembered holding all

those deaths in her hands like badges of honor and looking down at the

enemies pounding their chests with

the grief of losinga comrade.

But in this present, she was just the

daughter of an ordinary horse dealer.

After slowly melting into the country

life where nothing special happened,

she had put an end to the dichotomy

of her identity and let everything

from her past life flow away. All she

listened to now were stories the

visitors told from time to time.

Morgana.

When she heard that name ingrained

in her bones, she recalled the

memories of the last battle. The

abominable sight of the fort she

could never conquer flashed in her

eyes. But it was all from a far, faraway past. It grieved her, but it did not

infuriate her. She simply listened to

the stories of Morgana becoming an

empire after winning the war, who

the current king was, how afraid the

other countries were of Morgana, and

what other big events had happened

since then, like they were unrelated

to her.

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