once in a blue moon

once in the blue moon I was just an only child who is being loved by others everyone can call me perfect because I always got a high grade also I always got everything I want I have received Soo much loved from everyone

I was like a princess who doesn't know what is problem

but the truth is she feels empty inside

one day I see my cousin with her little brother

I was amazed and confused at the same time

I was amazed because she has a cute brother and have someone to play with

and also I was confuse asking my self how does it feel to have a little siblings

when I got home I told my mother and father that I wanted to have a Little siblings

my father ask why

I answered I wanted a playmate

my mother told me I'll try to give you one as long as you'll be a good sister

I was Soo happy that time

one day my father got into a trouble make us live with my grandmother

it was a peaceful life except for I discovered every child or we can say my cousin were too busy with their cell phones

I never knew that thing before

my grandmother buy me one and I got addicted to it

that make my grades fall down

everyone became disappointed with me

and Start to ignore me

2 years later

I was 8 years old when my mother became pregnant

I was Soo happy at that time

day by day I was hugging my mom's stomach

a month later

my brother is ready to goo out in my mom's stomach

my father was in panick that time that forgotten to tell me

when they left

a few minutes I woke up

I search everywhere but I don't see anyone

I keep finding them but I can't find them

at noon

my father came back home and told me that I already got a brother I was Soo happy back then

my mother got discharged and bring my brother home

a month later I started to feel strange

I started to feel jealous

because all their attention love was given by my brother

a years later

I became cold person

all my grades fall down my section fall down

my true smile got changed into a mask

my innocent disapear

my life was ruin

no one care about me anymore even my parents who care a lot for me didn't care about me anymore

and I didn't became a good sister instead I became a ruthless sister who only know is too feel jealous

my life was like a princess who got di throne and became a servant

everytime my brother got sick all of them will get worried

and everytime I got sick no one will care

in the past I sleep peacefully

in the past if I cry while sleeping they will going to get worried

in the past I rarely cry or feel sad

but now my life is a dream if I didn't fell sad

I can't fall asleep if I don't cry

my childish self who always happy and know nothing about sadness left behind

my innocent disapear

the world wake me up from a dream which teach me that not everything will stay the same

sometimes I closed my eyes and imagine how grea the old me is

because I know their is no way I could goo back to the person I used to be

I always looking at the sky wishing I could goo back in the past not to change everything but to feel it again

I miss those happy memories I have but I could do anything but to miss it

everything changed even my self changed

I miss everything and everyone it's included my past self

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