A Rose Garden does not grow Overnight

A Rose Garden does not Grow overnight

Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you think love will just blossom in an instant without knowing the person entirely? Does this kind of sentiment last forever, a long time, or in an instant as well?

It was three years ago, back in December during the Christmas eve night, when you asked me to go out and talk with you after our fight because of the guy who tirelessly courted me despite that I had you as my rigid bodyguard. At first, I didn't want to pick up your calls, since it was definite you would not apologize for your mistakes of mocking and beating him up and for lying that you were my boyfriend. You even said,

"Don't mess with my girl. No one can have her but me. She is mine. So scram!"

After professing such a lie, you instinctively grabbed my hands and pulled me away from the crowd that made it impossible for me to apologize properly to him. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. He was honest, gentle and sincere as the sun that never forgets to shine from the east after the darkness of the night. Hideki was bright. He was a walking sunshine, not just to me but to everyone around him. It was a great opportunity to experience being loved by such an ideal man.

Yet, I felt ecstatic for a while because for the first time, I felt my string of overflowing emotions reached you and you, for a moment, had a mutual desire that you couldn't contain in your bottle, at least that was what I thought.

While you kept on dragging me, I tried hard pulling back my arm to get loose from your tight grip.

"Wait! Stop dragging me around like I'm some kind of dog!!! Why are you doing this?" I clearly remembered asking you this and you defensively replied, " I'm just protecting you since you might get hurt badly because of this relationship thing. It doesn't suit you at all."

"Why are you doing this? Tell me?! We're not lovers! How can you shame him like that. He is just a nice person who I can't ignore. And if I fall in love with him, it is none of your business! Saying that I might get hurt?! Can't you see, staying by your side like this is killing me?! You don't have the right to say this, not to me!"

Out of the blue, faster than your words could come out from you, you faced me and pounced on the wall enough to feel an earthquake behind me as I timidly pressed my back against it. Before we could both process the situation, you quickly ran away and I, was left in astonishment...

The next day, you just ignored me, and I returned the favor back. You might be even more angered if you found out I would meet him, I had to make sure to apologize to Hideki after class. Hideki and I met outside the school yard around five in the afternoon. Dark clouds were hovering the sky, but I got to do it.

"I'm sorry Hideki, it's all my fault that you got hurt. I want to apologize on his behalf too". He said in a calm tone, "No, Aya, you have nothing to apologize for. It was me who was wrong. I knew you are so close, but I never thought you are in a relationship with him. I should have stopped courting you if I had known that earlier. But I want you to know that my intentions are clear. I love you and if it happens you are free, remember I will always wait for you". "Thank you, Hideki. You’re a good friend", I said reluctantly. "Life's like this, sometimes we've got to lose battles only to gain something better from it. By the way, it's getting late and it will rain soon, I'll walk you home.", he said in an obliging manner. "Sure, thanks", I replied.

He just walked me home without saying anything at all. After arriving in front of my apartment's building, we bade our farewell.

"Thank you. Take care and see you at school!", I said.

"Yeah, see you at school!", he replied in a gloomy tone. As he turned away, a sudden torrent of crystal droplets poured down from the sky.

In all truthfulness, the man was a saint! Even though I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to continue hurting him. His feelings were real, and if I accepted him, I might have had ruined him...After All, love is something you can't forcefully learn. I didn't want him to wait. Since it already belonged to someone else from a long time ago.

Days passed and you and I continued the same routine of ignoring each other. We had to endure each other's presence for the whole day almost every day in two weeks before the New Year School break started. Imagine, you were just sitting behind and didn't say a thing. Whenever I sneakily took a look at your reflection through the window, you just kept staring outside lost in your own thoughts...I held my breath and thought to myself, "What were you thinking about? Does it involve me?

Whenever we passed by each other, and our eyes would accidentally meet, we would immediately look away.  Whenever I saw you at the cafeteria, I would run away and not eat lunch at all. It was suffocating not to be able to interact with you normally. I wanted to approach you but couldn't. We both had our pride holding us both above the ground.

Finally, the year-end break came and we still didn't talk with each other. I was expecting Aunt Ayame to call me and invite me over to your house for New Year's Eve since it's like a tradition for us, and maybe we could sort things out. Strangely, she never did.

Christmas eve came and Misaki called me,

"Aya will you come tonight, all our friends will celebrate Christmas Eve together. You shouldn't be alone and most of all, you must have fun!"

"Will Takumi be there?", I curiously replied. "I asked Yashiro to invite him, but I guess he will come. Their best buddies anyway. Just don't think too much. You'll eventually make up, you love birds!", she chuckled.

"Stop that! You know it's not true. He was just playing around. But I still hate it!", I exclaimed. "Well, I bet you wanted that to happen anyway. I told you; Takumi acts cold and all arrogant, but he really cares about you. I feel like he likes you too."

"Impossible, he just feels obliged looking after me, ever since my parents passed away.", I replied lifelessly. "Huh, how long have you known each other?! You were childhood friends right. Despite him acting all tough, he never left you. When you're in trouble, he always rescues you. He is like your knight and shining armor. You should know best that he deeply cares about you. And hello, have you ever thought why he never had a girlfriend despite he is the campus crush...?! You know what, sometimes I feel like you are so airheaded!", she reproached.

"I hope you are right. But sorry, I don't feel like facing him right now. Give me some time to collect my thoughts." Then she replied, "You are really indeed hopeless. But I understand. And if you ever change your mind, I'll send you the time and location." "Sure, thank you so much for having such an understanding bestie!" "Sheesh, don't be so jelly now...Just call me if you need anything and I will fly to you in a flash". "Got it. Thanks"

After her call, I just lay down on my bed, I already prepared myself to sulk the whole year end break. I was terrified that I was gonna lose you if we couldn't have a proper conversation. But I could never express myself well and I didn't even know how to start. Yet, I had so many questions on my mind... Could it be possible that you were jealous and you meant what you said back then... I knew you were good at teasing me, so I always doubted your words.

Hours had passed that day until the clock hit seven in the evening after I intentionally missed your calls for a hundredth time, I gathered up my courage and decided to pick up your call. Before I could utter a word, you immediately told me to come out. Definitely, I could hear your voice coming from the outside. I quickly opened the door, and peaked down from the corridor on the second floor. You were there standing in the middle of rose garden!

" Ah!! What the?!", I was stunned in astonishment the moment I saw you all in a black suit surrounded by a garden that grew overnight without me realizing it... "Aya, would you be my date this Christmas' Eve?", you said resolutely. "What are you talking about? If this is your way to apologize, it is too much...We both said mean things to each other, but I really didn't mean it. Let's just go back to the way it was before, ok? Enough of you teasing me. I’m also tired of this anyway."

As I finished what I was saying from above, you released a deep sigh and dashed towards me and in a few moments, you were right in front of me. Without any bit of hesitation, you grabbed both of my hands and softly placed them on your cheeks and said, "Do you feel that my words are full of insincerity and lies? Can't you feel that I am real? I am right in front of you, from the very start and even now. Tell me, are my words not real enough? Is this not real enough? I can't help it anymore.... I miss you for a longest time that seems to be like forever and I think I'm going crazy if I lose you to some other guy" I love you from the start".

When I looked at your eyes, all I could see was a reflection of me desperately urging to come out off the shadow. We were standing on the same platform all along without even realizing it sooner, afraid to speak up what was really on our minds until it burst that resonated to thousand miles.

"How could we feel the same way for each other? If I can stay by your side even as a friend is enough for me. You being with me is already a consolation for a loser like me. If this was a dream, I hope it will last forever." At that moment, you surrounded me with your warm embrace that made me wanted you more than I could have ever imagined... I was so flustered that I had to bury my head on your chest for a while before I could look at you with my teary eyes, and you in the same manner, stared at me as if our eyes locked like opposite poles of magnets and it was the start of my bitter sweet nightmare.

The years I put on this love did blossom. But I wasn't expecting it would all change its color and slowly wither along with the gloomy and chilly breeze of the dead season.

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