CH 19: Finally remember?

RYAN

I took in the time, it was 6:34 pm, my heart was beating rapidly, and I was almost running. I wanted to meet Rose as soon as possible. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, and assure her she is safe and fine. and I was sure getting impatient.

The words were still hanging in my brain as it is as Jane has said, “Cause she attempted a suicide” Jane sobbed and I stood to pass her a handkerchief, “she was so disgusted after that incident; She stabbed the knife onto her abdomen.”

I almost ran through the corridor, ended up asking mom for Rose, and ran towards the lawn, I wanted to see her, happy and safe. Only that is when my heart would feel at peace.

 “She went into a coma, got up after a few days, and moved on. Never did we mention that incident ever again. She became more cautious of guys. We graduated, got jobs and life went on. I thought she was over it..”

 My body went still when I located her. She was walking, wearing a beautiful white sundress, her hair waving with every little breeze. Her expression was calm, with a gentle smile tugging the corners of her lips. She looked so ethereal that I almost wanted to cry. And without thinking—not even a little bit, I walked across the distance towards her. I heard her call my name, but time had passed and I realized I was already wrapping my arms around her.

 She was startled and so was I. Her heartbeat ran higher and mine was already sprinting. We stood like this for a moment. My eyes were closed, desperately avoiding any distraction. I wanted to feel, her body, her soul, safe and sound around me. A silence fell around us, and all I could feel was her, and the waves of air gently touching us. It felt like a long-awaited moment had finally happened. It felt so right, perfect as if nothing else could ever go wrong. Everything was going to be fine afterward.

 My heart protested as I let go of her body from my arms. We stood in silence looking straight at each other. There was confusion in her eyes that I refused to read on. She didn’t deserve any of that and I was going to make sure that she gets the best that she deserves. Nobody can touch her without passing through me. She is going to be safe and happy.

“So, if you two love birds are done, can we resume our walk” I turned to the familiarity of the voice. It was grandma. I was so into Rose, that I had almost ignored her presence. She was grinning so hard.

“Yeah, sure granny,” said Rose, grabbing her arm and resumed their walk without pining a glance at me.

ROSE

 My heart was trembling, and my brain blank. What had happened just now? I was seeing, right?

He hugged me, and don’t know why it felt so good. And for a moment I was desperately wanting to wrap my arms around him too.

His heart was beating so hard, so fast while eyes dilated to meet mine, there was something, something so mesmerizing about them, that my eyes refused to let go. There was a frown covering his forehead, that opposed me think of it as an act. It was real, it felt real and my heart dropped to just think of it. A minute more, no a second more into his eyes— I would fall; with all my heart and soul. I would have fallen.

 I was laying in my bed, waiting for granny to call me for a walk and reading, my all-time-fav The fault in our stars when a scene similar to Hazel and Augusts kissing in front of her mom, had flashed into my head.

Kiss me..Ryan.

I had shouted so hard that even a maid crossing by, came to take a check on me. He was completely right when he said, I had molested him. I had kissed him, shamelessly thrown myself on him.

I had tried consoling myself countless times it was just a kiss. Instead, I was so embarrassed, so flushed but more than that confused. What had actually made me do that? Was that just adulthood-hormonal-impulse or was there something more? — even if there was; I refuse to believe in. It can’t be. It shouldn’t be...

Putting an arm around Granny, I resumed my walk, even glimpsing back—I wasn’t sure.. of him...more of me. So, I avoided him, now; when he played golf — I would only glace him when he wasn’t looking and on the dinner table—I refused to take even a glimpse of him.

My heartbeat would grow even higher at the thought of him being in the same room as me. I couldn’t take it. I was scared as hell without knowing why. Taking a shower, I sat on the bed, still trying to figure out when Ryan came out of the shower, with only a towel covering his abdomen. Again I refuse to look him in the eyes, and then out of blue, he finally asked, “Are you avoiding me?”

Yes. I was almost breathless, “No,” I said, instead. Still not looking at him.

“But I guess you are,” his tone was suspicious now.

“I said no.” I was defending, and reason-less defiance, I know. “I’m tired. I just want to sleep” I said, pretending to be annoyed.

“Then look me in the eyes,” he grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to his face. He was annoyed now. But why? It doesn’t matter, right?

“What?” I finally lifted my eyes to him, irritated.

“So, you remember” he paused. Dead serious. “about what happened?”

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