CHAPTER 5

“Where the hell are you? I told you to not use so much of my time. You fucking made me come to this weird show, ruining to mood and now you making me wait here for so long?” I yelled at my manager, Adam for getting late to pick me up.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a writer. It helps me to express my all hidden emotion and feeling in my stories and help me to know myself a little more. But I hate about this job is to attend these unknown and pointless interviews with almost same questions with no creativity. Adam says that now that I am a public figure, I need to do all these things for marketing.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you will be finished so early” he tried to explain himself which he himself knows that I won’t be moved.

“I don’t care about all that. I’ll leave. Don’t even dare to call me for the rest of the day” I hang up the call even I know he was trying to say something. And I  also know that he won’t disturb me. He knows me the best because he is the only one who survived in my hell for more than 5 year.

Adam is like my brother and my best friend, though I never admitted in front of him. He knows me very well. Well, he guesses my psychology through reading my books and draft. After all, he graduated with major in psychology. But sometime he just gets in my nerves. Even after knowing that I hate attending these kind of interview he made me goes through all those. But I also know, he is mend to do this work.

With raging from anger, I left the lobby of the company to look for a taxi. But luck was not in my side. None of the taxi was vacant.

I just decided to walk to my house since my house is in walk distance and also I can clear my mind to write again.

I observed other peoples life. They look very happy or just pretend to be happy. The love they are experiencing, I also experienced it at one point and got heartbroken. They will also get it soon probably.

I always imagine. What is the pure definition of love? Secure feeling, being with someone forever, or just a sexual feeling.

Asking people about their definition, most answers are like this only. Looks like they also don’t know what it is. Would they be feel the same way I feel? The emptiness, that I felt when I was in love.

I don’t have reason or meaning to live. I’m just living, without any reason… or probably living to find the reason.

I was in deep though, when I bumped into someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” that person asked me after bumping into me so hard that I dropped my books that I was holding. I looked at him with irritation but my irritation went just went away when I looked at his face. There is Greek god like face in front of me, asking me if I am okay or not. I was so lost in his eyes that I couldn’t even move from my place.

It was a weird yet familiar sensation. It was sensation that I missed. It was sensation about love.

I came out of my thoughts when he tried to leave. “Hey, shouldn’t you pick up the book that you made it fall” damn! That’s what I don’t want to say. God! Why is it so difficult for me to breathe? As if he took away my oxygen.

After I asked him this question, he looked at me in horror as if he saw a ghost.

“Can you see me?” he asked me in shock.

What an idiot! He is a handsome man but really an idiot.  I shook my head to get a hold of myself, stop thinking about that weird sensation, picked up my books and decided to leave but he held my hand asked me again “can you see me? Like, can you really see me?”

Now it freaked me out. He held me so hard that it started to hurt and I thought he is an escaped mental patient. Before I could say something, he said something

“Oh! Are you…ELENA?”

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