CHAPTER 3

Someone said something like this “Accept everything as fate. Sometimes coincidence is also fate.”

Ding! That’s how the elevator stopped at the lobby of Paradise Entertainment where I had my 5th interview after the release of my new book “Fate".

I am writer. My name is Elena Kim. I’m half Korean and half American. There not so good in my life to share except for a lot of heart break and non-ending problems and hardship I have to face every other day.

 My perception about love started to change when my parents got separated when I was just 10 years old. When I needed their love and caring, they made me take the world’s most difficult decision.

They vow to each other that they won’t leave each other no matter what situation they are in. But now what, they got separated for very trivial matter that can be solved. It might have taken some time but can be solved. They didn’t even thought how much I would be effected if they take the decision of to get divorce. That’s when my whole happy life started to crumble. After my parents got divorced, I had to live with my dad who is a Korean. I had to move back to Korea to live my dad for the rest of my life.

The second incident which make me lose more believe in love was when my dad got remarried. My father who took the oath to love my mom till death tear them apart, got remarried right after 6 month of divorced. That’s when I thought, there is no love in two people. They just need each other for their own goods, either materialistic or sexual or emotional support that they can’t overcome by themselves.

When I became 19 yrs, I moved out of my home to live my own and soon after I moved to America to live with my mom. Even after suffering so much, I was like a lost puppy who is seeking for love. That love which I didn’t get from my father and step mother, I wanted to feel that love from my mom. But my hope was again crushed when my own mother abandoned me just because my step-father can’t accept me.

For me, there is no parent love.

Other parents just love and take care of their children because they need that care again when they get old. There is no such thing called selfless love. Human are meant to be selfish. They are the only beings that seek love and abandoned it as if it never existed.

Is there really a thing of feeling of love or is it just the feeling of protection which one need?

But what a coincidence, I didn’t experienced any of them, neither love nor protection.

After being abandoned by my mother, I lived and take care of myself by my own with no one by my side.

I took year drop to earn money for myself and for college. I studied very hard to major in literature. In college also there was nothing special in my life. I was a loner in college. Not until when a boy approached me, extending his hand towards me, introducing him.

That was when I felt that heart fluttering that everyone was talking about. The love that very one was talking about.

Even then and till now, I don’t know that whether I really fell in love or wanted to fell in love, or just fell in love with the feeling of being in love.

And even now I don’t know myself…yet.

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