1.*

Ever since my brother went off to follow his dreams, I've been feeling like nothing is going up or down, right or wrong. He was the best older brother anyone could ever have. But good memories don't last forever.

My brother wanted to be a rapper and make it big in the music business. He wanted us to be able to share our gifts with the world. Unfortunately, our parents were vehemently against his aspirations. They constantly argued with him, especially our father, about his dreams and plans for the future.

They believed that his pursuit would only bring him pain and disappointment. The arguments became so intense that our father even threatened to disown him and exclude him from his will and assets if he didn't give up on his dreams immediately.

The last time I saw my brother, he stood at the front door with his bag and suitcase, determined to never give up on his dreams. He made it clear that our parents may not realize it now, but they had lost a son. As he left, he left behind a signed contract stating that he would take on our mother's maiden name once our father signed it, which our father did as soon as the door closed.

My mother and I were deeply hurt when he left, and I never forgave my father for forcing my brother to leave our home. From that point on, my parents constantly argued, causing their relationship to deteriorate over time. There were occasions when my father would sleep in the guestroom not even greeting us in the morning or any time for that matter.

My mother stopped cooking, opting to take me out to eat instead, or she would take me to her friend's house for dinner and we'd stay there for a couple of days. She didn't want to be in the smae place my father was if she could prevent it. Gradually, my father became more and more absent from my life, leaving early in the morning and returning late at night.

It was evident that he had developed a drinking problem and was engaging in infidelity with a woman in her prime weekly. One day, after returning home from an audition together, my mother and I discovered my father with that same woman in their shared bedroom. My mother cried for days and nights, unable to bear the sight of him bringing that woman into our home and leaving it in disarray.

She had supported everything he had done, but this was the last straw. The loud noises in the middle of the night were unbearable to my young self. All my mother could do was hold me close, singing me to sleep with her soothing voice, trying to drown out the disturbing sounds and transport me to a peaceful dreamland.

In the subsequent year, when their case was brought before the court, my mother emerged victorious, securing a divorce from my father and obtaining custody of me. Subsequently, she whisked me away to another country upon discovering that I had successfully passed the audition.

At the time of our arrival in the new land, I was promptly summoned by the company for which I had auditioned. Without delay, I was immersed in rigorous training. Recognizing the need to exert myself to the fullest, I dedicated all my efforts in the hopes of realizing my dreams.

As time passed, I crossed paths with three other girls who had also successfully passed the auditions. Together, we underwent relentless training day and night, striving to become the epitome of excellence. We were destined to debut as the new girl group within the next two years, leaving no room for complacency. Our bond grew stronger as we shared countless experiences, gradually unveiling each other's personal histories.

While the two eldest members had complete and happy families, the second youngest and I quickly formed a close connection due to our shared family struggles, particularly her mother's infidelity and subsequent departure from her father.

Our camaraderie transcended mere friendship; we became sisters. And after years of arduous training, we finally made our debut as 'FSP: Fallen Star Princesses,' marking the beginning of our journey.

Throughout all these years, my brother's whereabouts has remained a mystery to me. It is as if he has never been a part of my life, and this realization is painful to accept. The chances of finding him diminish with each passing day, and this thought constantly occupies my mind.

The longing for him is evident in my actions, as I yearn for his presence. Aware of my story, our manager Kim Mina suggested that I channel my emotions and experiences into composing a song that pays tribute to our relationship.

Initially, I struggled and became frustrated while attempting to craft the lyrics. However, as I recalled how my brother used to hold onto his necklace, take a deep breath, and resume writing, I found inspiration. Witnessing his determination motivated me to persevere, and it worked wonders!

The key was to never give up, clear my mind, and allow my emotions to guide me. Once I finished writing, a smile formed on my face, despite a few tears escaping involuntarily. I gazed at the sky, where the sun shone brightly, and whispered, "Even though you are beyond my reach, you still feel so near. You have always been and will forever remain the guiding light in my life. Thank you, dear brother."

Later on, I commenced the process of producing and recording it gradually. Throughout the weeks spent in my studio, I was undisturbed by others. My presence was solely for the purpose of practicing and resting.

Occasionally, my companions would visit to deliver the requested food and beverages. Aware that isolating myself during significant endeavors did not align with the views of the eldest, I anticipated her eventual arrival at my studio to coax me out.

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