prologue

All I could feel was suffocation, dying like this wasn't really what I imagined not as if I really imagined my death. No one really tries to think about how they'll die maybe because we're too scared of death, but once you are driven to the very edge when you have no hope left then you no longer fear it in fact you might just want death to consume you, if you ever ask me if suicide is an option I'd say no but there's a difference between giving an advice and applying it myself with those thoughts everything went black , this is where everything ended, this is where my heartbreak ended, the starting wasn't this dark, you know it was like every other starting it was so lit all butterflies and lies......

Stacy's pov:

"Stacy, what are you thinking " A tiny voice asked bringing me out of my imaginary world "nothing baby I was just zoned out" I replied with a smile to the blondie with twinkling eyes who now sat comfortably in my lap "momma said it's bad to lie " He said innocently, when a four year could tell that you are hurt then how can grown up people turn a blind eye to it I thought "hmm is that so" I asked tickling him just to divert his mind "what do you want chipmunk, why are you in my room hmm" I questioned "Dad is calling you for dinner but you are in your own daze" He pouted to which I just chuckled "ok lets go then" "Please carry me" He made those puppy dog eyes to which I can never refuse "ok fine hop on "..... That's how I ended up at the dinner table playing with my food " Stacy is everything alright sweetheart, it's your favorite lasagna but you haven't even touched it" It bought me out of my daze I smiled as genuinely as possible "everything is fine mom I just have a test coming up I'm a little stressed don't worry" She just nodded and I swallowed the food as much as I can smiling like I was ok, and with no appetite at all I still managed to eat, after that I just said farewell to my parents and kissed my baby brother on his forehead, mom looked at me suspiciously but then her expressions changed as if she just shrugged it off, it was actually for the good..... Locking myself in the soulless room I crumbled down onto the floor, I felt numb I don't wanna feel numb I just took out a blade off my pocket and sliced my arm, once, twice, thrice... So on until I lost count but I didn't winced at all is that what I'm becoming a sadist with a huff I chuckled at that thought maybe I was turning into a sadist I stood up that's when I felt it , it wasn't like I did a number on myself it just felt as if there was a slight scratch I just let it be not caring that it was now wounded badly and bleeding, I took out a pack of cigarettes from my school bag, I lighted one and inhaled that poison with that I ended up inhaling five of them then I blacked out with only one name on my lips "ℙ𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕣"

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