A/N: this is a long time project that was given to me by our 9th grade science teacher, she asked us if we could make a short story about a certain unique constellation we chose and I don't do short stories so let's begin!
The constellation I'm going to use: the constellation Ophiuchus
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What will you do if you have to choose between your first friend or first love? Will you risk losing your first love who taught you how to stand up for yourself and be strong or risk losing the one who taught you how to be happy, how to be free? Will you risk losing your first love who gave you nothing but pain or the one who loved and accepted your flaws no matter what?
This is the story of two childhood best friends who experienced what they call "unreciprocated love"
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"Ajax! You're so slow! come on!" I shouted as I ran to our favorite spot, the cliff of Guyun Stone Forest"
"wait up, Lumi! I don't have as much energy as you!" Ajax whined and I chuckled
Childe or Ajax and I were friends since we were kids, we first met at a birthday party incident wherein he bumped into me and he started freaking out which I find it cute. He treats me like a precious gem, like a princess
We sat down on the grass as I let the cold night breeze touch my skin, I immediately felt shivers, the next thing I knew I was already wrapped around in a thick fabric, the fabric is made out of expensive silk with cotton so I already knew who it is.
I was about to give Childe a jokingly punch but when I turned to him, my eyes were somehow not moving, as I looked at Childe who is now gazing at the night stars, I noticed how his eyes sparkled, it's the first time I saw it again after the break up between him and his first love, but the fact that it's me seeing it again makes my heart rush in adrenaline
"Lumine" Childe called out, I looked at him and saw how he softly smiled at me, my heart was skipping a beat, I felt butterflies on my stomach as he reached for my hand and gently kissed it "I promise you, no matter what happens between us, I'll always stay by your side, I'll be your knight and shining armor"
His eyes, I suddenly found myself locked in his gorgeous mesmerizing ocean blue eyes, my heart is in chaos! I didn't know what to do, I was stuttering the whole time and he just replied with his dangerous chuckle that every girl could fall for
That went on and on until one day, she came back
His first love, came back
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I saw how stunned Childe is to see his first love again, mixed emotions are written in his face, he let go of my hand and started to walk towards the direction of his first love and I could tell that he was so happy at the same time angry that she came back, well he has every right to be mad, that girl cheated on him!
I massaged my temple as I sighed heavily "here he goes again, chasing for that girl who brought nothing but pain to him"
I was about to walk away when all of the sudden, Childe came rushing towards me, holding both of my shoulder and happily shakes it
"woah woah what's going on with you?!" I asked but instead of getting an answer, he just smiled there
"Lumi she let me court her again!"
My heart sank at what he said "what?" I asked, trying my best not to stutter
Childe, who still has a big smile in his face, looked at me "She let me court her again! I knew it, she still loves me! can't you believe that?!"
From that, I shoved away his hand and immediately turned my back on him. He tried calling out for me but I didn't stop to look back, I continued walking until my legs feel like they're about to give up
I sat down at Dihua Marsh, looking at the river water flowing so peacefully when I felt like someone is watching me from afar, I didn't mind, I know that gaze somewhere
"hey, what's the matter? why did you suddenly walked out earlier? do we have a problem?"
there he goes again, with his ways of comforting me
I shook my head and didn't gave a reply, instead I picked up a nearby rock and threw it at the river "why would you court her after all what she done?" I asked
He looked at me in disbelief "you know how hard I tried to pursue her again remember? I really wanted this"
I felt my blood boil, I faced him and glared "didn't you remember what she did to you?! For goodness sake Childe, she cheated on you!"
"she told me that she didn't purposely did it and it was all a misunderstanding!"
"misunderstanding?! I told you she's cheating on you the very start!"
"why are you acting like this?! why?! tell me Lumine!"
I was shocked at the way how he talked to me, he raised his voice at me
for the first time..
I remained quiet instead of talking back at him and bit my lower lip to stop myself from sniffling when I felt his arms encircled mine
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for raising my voice at you, I know you're just concerned about me but promise, I'll be fine. Plus you'll be my top priority and my princess always, even if I'm courting her"
I wanted to shake my head no but my body isn't responding, I let him hug me for a few minutes and then he took me home
After that day, I noticed that Childe distances himself from me, was it something I said? I don't know, I have no idea. I tried approaching him but all he could say is he has to go somewhere with Nicolette and I respect that
until one day, I woke up to find that now, he really was out of my reach
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While taking a stroll at the walls of Liyue, I accidentally bumped into someone, it wasn't that hard but because of the impact Childe left me and I hadn't been eating properly for months, that "wasn't so hard" bump made me fall to the floor
"just because you're heartbroken, that doesn't mean you should stop eating properly, look at you!"
I admit that I was losing a lot of weight, people began coming to my house with food in their hands and begged me to eat, but I just smile and accept the food just to feed it to the poor family I come across in one of my strolls
"shut it Xiao, you're like this as well when I rejected you"
"yeah yeah" and he let out a heart warming chuckle
Xiao is the very few, no, he's the only one who knows about my true feelings towards Childe, he tried pursuing me but it's not use, my stupid heart really is loyal to one
"come on, get up, I'll be treating you to lunch" Xiao said as he extended his hand for me
I was suddenly afraid of what he said, past memories of me and Childe came flooding in my mind, my mind suddenly went blank as I try to calm myself down, Xiao held my hand and lead the way inside
"don't worry, I'm not as stupid as Childe"
"hey don't say that about him!" I pouted and he giggled
He did took me to a restaurant, well a little far from here but it was worth it, their dishes are spectacular! I haven't tasted anything as good as this since..
since my brother and I were separated
"what's with the long face? hurry up and finish your food before it gets cold!" Xiao said it with excitement so I couldn't avoid but wonder
'how is Childe doing right now?'
while eating, I felt like my stomach turned upside down, my chest tightened as well, I feel like I have the urge to throw up, and so I did. I excused myself and ran to the edge of the highest peak at Wangshun Inn as I accidentally threw up in my hand. My eyes were in horror as I stare what's in my hand
"blood? with petals?" I said, fighting the urge to cry or stutter
"no, no, what does this mean?" I said out of nowhere, Xiao came beside me and he too was shocked when he saw what was in my hand
He wasted no time, he took me to the nearest doctor and my heart dropped when he told me what I'm experiencing
"Traveler, you might have experiencing what they call "one sided love disease" or "Hanahaki disease" In your case, it is a very rare condition of one sided love, it depends on your answers if you'll live, or not"
A tear escaped my eye, my answer depends on if I'll continue living or not? why? why must the world be so cruel?
I bit my lower lip to stop my sniffling and the doctor then asked "do you want to forget him or not?"
I had one person in my mind right now and I immediately knew that the doctor is talking about.. him
"no doctor" I replied "I don't want to forget him"
"Lumine!" Xiao said but I didn't look at him, if I were able to see myself now, I can see that my eyes were full of determination of not allowing to forget Childe
"are you sure?" the doctor asked and I nodded, he sighed and what he said next made my whole world stop spinning
"I'm sorry then, there is nothing I could do"
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My heart shattered on what the doctor said, I could feel my knees trembling
"Hanahaki" I whispered between my sobs
Yes, Hanahaki, it is said to be rumored as the one sided love disease, it affects its patients by a flower forming into its lungs and it is said to be cured only through surgery and after the surgery, the patient loses its memory of the person who caused its disease and lives on
I was stunned at the news, hands covering my shivering mouth, I tried to say anything but nothing came out, I only sobbed and sobbed
The world really doesn't want me to be happy, even once
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I decided to visit Ajax since I was now at death's waiting room, I have to tell him before I die
"It's now or never"
I searched for him everywhere in Liyue, I went from top to bottom but he is just nowhere to be found. I was about to give up hope when my heart found his tall, muscular figure at the cliff of Guyun Stone Forest. My heart skipped a beat as I ran towards the edge but then wished I didn't
yes he was there..
but..
with Nicolette..
with his first love..
They were kissing and I felt a sharp pang in my chest, it was tightening! I felt the urge to throw up, I couldn't breathe, it hurts!
I looked at my hand covered in blood with petals as I weakly peeked at Childe and his first love
I can see the happiness in his eyes, his eyes were sparkling again, he hugged her and caressed her long wavy hair, he kissed her forehead as they both chuckled, he was smiling from ear to ear
but this time, his kisses and his smiles, it wasn't for me anymore
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I may sound petty and selfish but yes, I haven't left my room for almost 3 months, I let myself drown in pain, I didn't talk to anyone in the outside world. I stopped on going to adventures, I stopped taking commissions, my world felt like it completely stopped after what I saw 3 months ago
I stood up, opened the window for the first time and let the sun hit my pale skin, I hissed because it felt like the sun burned my delicate skin, I stepped back from the window then noticed that a lot of people were at my house, surrounding me. I was confused on what's going on but when someone noticed me, they were screaming because of joy.
I couldn't read the situation but seeing their faces, it seems like they're happy to see the oh so hero of Liyue again, their only dismay is that they saw how I lost so much weight, I was so skinny and pale, my lips are a little bluish and there are dark circle around my eyes.
They gave me food and I smiled at them, thanking them for their concern and told them that they don't have to bother
As I was talking to a group of children, I saw a familiar man in my peripheral vision. I wanted to say that it was him but at the same time, I don't want to assume but I know that I saw him
He was in his Fatui Harbinger uniform that made him even more handsome, his golden brown hair was messy, he had a few blood stains on his uniform, he looked so intimidating, so scary
but then my eyes went down on what he was holding, his hand was carrying a bouquet of Glaze Lilies, I saw how guilt and pain was written on his eyes and I couldn't help but smile. He looks cute
He was about to approach me when suddenly, my eyes blackened out. Before my body lost its balance, I could already hear screams and panic from the crowd but one muscular arm caught me before I fell. I knew instantly that it was him
"Ajax" I managed to say before everything went black
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I opened my eyes in a familiar room, I wandered my eyes a bit and saw this man who's holding my hand while sleeping
he... stayed?
I caressed his soft hair and smiled weakly "if only you knew" I said. I was in for a shock when he suddenly woke up, my heart was racing and I couldn't think straight
"how's your sleep? do you still feel any pain? what the hell happened to you back there?" he asked, my head spinned from all his questions, I decided to stay silent
"Lumi answer me, what happened to you? why are you so pale? why did you lose so much weight?"
Still I stood silent and didn't answer his question, eventually he got tired of asking then he came close to me and kissed my forehead, it felt like butterflies were fluttering around my stomach. He looked at me with pain in his eyes and he rested his head on my shoulder, I could tell he was really tired because he was breathing heavily
"please.." he said "please do not scare me like that"
his voice sounded like he's in so much pain, did I really scare him so much?
I looked at him and saw that he was already crying, I immediately sung him our lullaby to soothe him and calm him down which thankfully, he did. He looked at me, his eyes were really puffy
"shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" I asked but then he shook his head "she knew what happened to you so she asked me to take care of you"
My heart sank, so he's doing this just because of his girlfriend's request?
"leave"
"what? I can't leave you alone"
"you already did for months so leave!" I yelled, this was the first time I raised my voice at him, this was the first time I argued with him just for him to leave
He was taken aback by my words and he suddenly looked down "please.. I.. I don't want to leave you here all alone.." he said, sobbing
I felt guilt in my heart but my brain told me to push him away, and that I did
I watched him turn his back at me and walked away, I wanted so bad to stop him. The Archons know how much I wanted to catch up to him and whisper him the words "sorry"
But my pride still got the best of me and I sat there, until he left
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Weeks passed and I still got no sleep, as if I was letting Death get me as soon as possible, I wanted him to take me so the pain in my heart lessens
I sat up at my bed, thinking of what I've done to Ajax, he was my bestfriend but I pushed him like that just because of a girl
thank you very much, brain
I sighed heavily as I put my long hair to the side and wore my golden robe. It was late at night but I still managed to walk out of my house, I stared at the sky and my eyes immediately came back to life
It was constellation Ophiuchus, the constellation that me and Ajax named!
Memories flood into my mind again and it gave me a severe headache, my chest tightened again and I coughed and coughed, it made me throw up blood again, but this time it's a full flower
with thorns..
To my horror, I just stood there, I know so well that I really didn't have much time left, my hands were shaking and my lips are trembling. I can barely stifle my sniffles
I have a little time left
With my weak and trembling legs, I ran towards the Golden House just outside Liyue's walls, I was a few steps away when I saw something that I know will haunt me forever
He's there, with her. He's kneeling down on one knee while holding a red box that has a diamond ring inside of it. I looked down and bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. It was a fool of me to tell you what's happening to me, I pushed you away and now I was trying to get you back even though I'm too late.
I turned my back at them quietly, with a heavy heart, I walked away without telling him how I feel
I hate it..
I hate it when loving you, hurts me the most
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"the moon's beautiful, isn't?" I looked at Childe who is now beside me, looking at the stars
"I'm engaged, Lumi" he said
I chuckled bitterly "I know, congrats! can't wait for the wedding"
Lies..
"you two look perfect together"
Lies..
"I'm so happy for you!"
Lies, lies, all lies...
"really?" Childe looked at me like he saw his brother and I nodded
the sparkle in his eyes whenever he looks or talks to me, is now gone
his eyes sparkle to a girl
and that girl isn't me
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"Childe can I ask you a favor?" I looked at him, he looked at me and raised his left eyebrow. I know why he looks at me like that, it's because I never called him "Childe" all his life
"hm, what is it?"
"can you be mine for 3 days?"
He immediately spit his water and coughed, I rubbed his back then he angrily turned to me "what are you thinking?! Lumine I'm engaged!"
"I know that but please listen"
"no Lumine, just because you're my friend, that doesn't mean I'll accept your favor" he looked at me sternly, it hurted because all my life
he never looked at me like that
"please..? I wanted to feel loved" for the last time
he stood up and angrily walked out, he left me there, sobbing, crying my heart out
you promised me you'd still treat me a princess after you get engaged, what a fool for me to believe you
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I was at the Guyun Stone Forest, gazing at the stars, this was supposed to be our time to chat but now, I'm all alone
I saw how constellation Ophiuchus was shining, how I wish I was shining with you too, my Ophiuchus
because of my weak body, I was shivering, coughing and sniffling, my condition's getting worst and if I estimate my time left here at Teyvat, I only have 4 days left
Great, just great
"what are you doing here?" I immediately stood up as I heard that voice, his golden hair that is still messy, his sparkle in his eyes were gone, he was holding hands with his girl as they share the same ring
it hurts, I can't breathe
that.. that was supposed to be me, that was supposed to be my place
"I'm asking you Lumine, what are you doing here?" he asked coldly
this was OUR spot, of course I'd be here
"uh" I said nervously "was this your spot? oh shoot I'm so sorry! I should've known!" I let out an awkward laugh as I picked up my mat and stormed off
"look baby! it was the constellation that we saw the day you proposed to me! if I still remember it, I remember you naming the constellation "Chilette" which is a combination of our name!" I heard Nicolette exclaimed then chuckled, I just had it. I went back to them and gave Ajax a slap of his life, he was shocked and Nicolette, his fiancee pushed me away "what's wrong with you?!" she yelled
I looked at them with tears in my eyes, I was angry, definitely angry, how could he do this?
"what's wrong with me?!" I responded "well I'll tell you what's wrong! did you know that this place is a special place to me and your fiancee?!" I could tell she was shocked, Childe glared at me to stop but I didn't
"the constellation you named "Chilette", it was originally named Ophiuchus and we registered that name already alongside your fiancee!"
Childe held my arm but I shoved it away "Lumine please!"
"no! why don't you tell her?! why can't you tell her?! because you're embarrassed?! because you wanted to impress her?!"
Childe had enough of my childishness and draws his sword, he pointed them at my neck and I can really tell that I really pissed him
"remember what I said 14 years ago..?" I asked him with a smile so bitter "I said I'd take a sword for you, not from you" I chuckled and held his sword closer to my throat
"come on Childe, shut me up already" I looked at him in the eyes and he withdrew his sword, he held Nicolette's hand and dragged her away from there
I fell on my knees, I was coughing nonstop, there were blood splatters everywhere, I can't ask for help because not only that my throat hurts
but my heart as well
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Childe's POV
I'm now at the altar, hand to hand with my soon to be wife, we were about to exchange vows when someone rudely barged in to the Cathedral, a tall slender woman in a high ponytail opened the Cathedral doors, she was panting and what she said made the whole Cathedral stood up in horror
"Lumine Outlander, the Honorary Knight of the Knights of Favonius is found dead in her chambers this morning!"
I was left stunned, my body couldn't move an inch, my hands were shaking
She... left me
I found myself running out of the Cathedral, leaving my fiancee at the altar just so I could go to Lumi's
I arrived there and kicked the door without thinking, her living room is full of blood with flowers scattered all over, Knights were investigating inside and I fell on my knees when I saw what they were carrying
It was her cold, lifeless body..
I immediately hugged her as soon as she was put down, my cries and screams echoed the room
"Lupine please no! open your eyes, I'm sorry! I'm begging you, don't leave me! don't do this to me!"
Bunch of knights tried to reason with me that I should let go of Lumi's lifeless corpse, I had this feeling that I don't want to let her go, not as a friend
But something more than that
After minutes of weeping and sobbing and screaming her name endlessly, a knight approached near me and handed me a small journal, he handed it to me and I reached for it with trembling hands
"For you" the knight said as he went back to where he found this and continued his search for evidence of the reason of her death
With the journal in hand, I opened it slowly
"MY MEMORIES WITH AJAX BEFORE I LEAVE TEYVAT"
The title got me frozen in place and made my tears unconsciously fall, s-she wrote a journal about our memories?
I opened pages, read them one by one until I found myself smiling
Why? Why would you keep something like this Lumine?
I flipped the pages again and saw her last letter, written today before she died
Ajax,
I know by the time you're reading this I'm already gone, and the knights found this journal and handed it to you right? You know? You're so unfair! I was about to confess to you, but that Nicolette had to interrupt (I rolled my eyes while writing this HAHAHAHAH). To be honest, ever since that first month we met, I didn't know why I caught feelings for you like, I began asking myself "out of all the people in Teyvat, why did I have to be attracted to a freaking Fatui Harbinger?" you won't realize how many times I screamed at myself by a puddle, people passing by thought I needed a doctor when they saw me
Hey, today's your wedding to your first love right? I got your invitation, and I was planning to go before doing this, but I told myself that it'll only hurt more if I saw you exchange vows with the person who's supposed to be me. If you're asking why I did this, maybe I wanted this or not. I wanted to escape pain, I don't want to feel anything anymore, the lost of my brother already caused me so much pain and this, I wanted to rest like why should I continue to live? Somebody is already marrying the love of my life? I may have everything she doesn't have but she has everything I need. I have Hanahaki, Ajax and I just didn't want to tell you, you know Hanahaki rigjht? Of course you do, you hat it once before. Ajax, I want you to keep on living, I want you to keep smiling, pursue her, build your own family, that's what you've been wanting right? So please, that is my last wish for you, stay healthy and for the last time
I love you...
- Lumine
My hand was trembling so bad, my breathing became uneven, more tears kept escaping my eyes
"LUMINE!" I yelled her name as loud as I could
"LUMINE I'M SO SORRY!"
"PLEASE COME BACK TO ME! I'LL MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER"
"PLEASE!"
but it's too late she's gone, I left a diamond for a stone
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I returned to the Cathedral when suddenly my head snapped to the right
oh that's right, I left Nicolette here when I heard that Lumine died in her house
"how dare you left me on the altar just to go to her!" she said and I looked at her with tears in my eyes
"let's stop everything, let's stop what's going on between us, it's over Nicolette"
"huh?! What are you talking about?!" Nicolette raised her voice and I didn't even bother to flinch
"you heard me, let's stop everything what's going on between us"
"why?! Because that outlander's gone?! Tell me Ajax, is it her?!" I saw how Nicolette looked at me with tears starting to pool at her eyes
I sighed
"yes, she's the reason why we need to stop this" I looked at her
The same way how Lumi looked at me for the very last time
Nicolette gave me a hard slap and stormed out of the room and I watch her as she walks away and disappear from my sight
- 6 years later -
"congratulations on the promotion of 3rd Fatui Harbinger, Childe!"
"Master Childe's having a celebration!"
"Congratulations!"
full of greeting and claps filled the Golden House, I simply nodded then made my way to the stairs outside of Golden House. I was about to walk out the gate when a familiar figurine walked past by
No it couldn't be her, she's dead!
I tried to catch up to her but my feet were suddenly glued to the Earth's surface. I couldn't believe my eyes, she was there! she was definitely there as well as Xiao
He kissed her forehead and his arms were wrapped around her waist, she was smiling from ear to ear and I can see that she was really happy on her life now
She looked at me then looked at Xiao "baby, who is that?" she said then my world crumbled
she.. she forgot me?
but how..?
I saw her lifeless body back then! how?!
Xiao shook his head, telling her that he doesn't know me either then they turned their back at me
I slowly watch them disappear into the quiet, forest night
she was there, so near yet so far
just like our constellation Ophiuchus
she's just like a shining star and I can't do anything but to watch her, be happy at another man's arms
- the end -
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