Cold bed, colder hand

When did his hands start to feel like just hands? Taehyung rolled onto his side, facing his boyfriend. The moonlight from the open blinds lit up his features beautifully, Jeongguk was undoubtedly, art. The youngers chest rose and fell with each breath, Taehyung brought a hand out from under the duvet and laid a hand above Jeongguk's heart, gently. The steady thump under his hand was comforting and alive...more alive then Taehyung felt. Jeongguk's eyelids twitched and Taehyung felt his lungs freeze, he couldn't talk to Jeongguk, not right now. Taehyung waited a few seconds, he didn't wake, but his his hand did fold over the one Taehyung had against his heart. The blonde choked back a wounded noise coming from deep inside his chest. God, he wished this feeling would just go away. Taehyung licked his chapped lips, burying his face deeper into the soft pillow under his head.

"I'm so sorry, Jeonggukie," Taehyung whispered. "I really don't understand why this happened, I wish it didn't. But I can't control my heart, just like you can't control yours." Taehyung's eyes scanned over youthful features, wistfully almost, the pretty eyelashes resting against soft cheeks, the rounded nose and the line of a plump bottom lip. Then without much grace, he started to cry. Sticky rivets of tears running down his cheeks and falling onto the pillow beneath him, his heartbeat was the only sound he could hear. Taehyung didn't hear Jeongguk wake but he did feel a soft thumb swipe a tear off his face. Jeongguk's face crumpled looking at Taehyung, he hated seeing his lover cry, especially when he knew the reason why. Jeongguk took a deep breath and choked out, "It's okay, Taehyung," his eyelids lowered, hand reaching up to stroke through the elders hair. "It's okay. I'm not mad." Jeongguk cursed silently when his voice wavered.

"I just-" Taehyung choked out, voice raw. "I wish I never fell out of love with you," The pressure of the hand in his hair started to disappear and Taehyung's eyes snapped open. His hands swung out blindly latching onto skinny wrists. Jeongguk's big eyes and trusting hands haunted him.

"Because then maybe you'd still be alive..." Jeongguk smiled at him, looking confused. "What do you mean, Tae? I'm right here."

"No, you're not." He sobbed.

Taehyung woke up, the left side of his bed cold and empty. The sheets still smelled like him.

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