Reancranation

Kazuma Satou… Welcome to the Great Beyond. I’m sorry to tell you that

you’ve passed on. It was a short life, but it’s over now.”

Those were the first words I heard upon finding myself in that bright

white room.

It was so sudden, I had no idea what was going on. There was a little desk

and a chair, like you’d find in an office. And sitting in the chair was the

person notifying me of the end of my life.

If there are such things as goddesses, the woman in front of me certainly

qualified.

She was more than just “cute” like the pop stars on TV—no human could

match her beauty.

She had long hair the translucent blue of the sea on a clear day. It gave her

a soft, gentle aura.

She looked to be about my age.

Her light-purple clothes fit perfectly, not too revealing but not hiding

anything. She was wearing what we would call a “Feather Dress,” divine

raiment like the ones in Japan’s old stories.

This beauty stared at me with eyes the same light blue as her hair,

blinking at my inability to understand what had happened.

I thought back on the last thing I could remember…

…Normally I stay locked in my room. Don’t even go to school. But today,

for once, I left the house. I wanted to get the limited Day One edition of a

popular MMO that was coming out today, so I was up earlier than usual to

claim my spot in line.

Yeah, I’m what people like to dismiss as a “hikikomori,” someone so

intensely introverted, they’ve withdrawn from society, living a life of

isolation and never leaving their room. Others call me an “MMO junkie.”

Whatever. I secured my game and was heading home to try it out, spirits

high. Then it happened.

A girl was walking ahead of me, playing with her phone. Judging by her

uniform, she was enrolled at the same school as me.

The traffic light turned green, and she stepped into the crosswalk without

even glancing left or right.

I saw the shadow loom over her.

It had to be a truck, bearing down on her at high speed.

I shoved her out of the way before I could think.

And then…

With a calm that surprised even me, I said quietly to the beautiful woman

before me:

“…Can I just ask one thing?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“…That girl…the one I pushed out of the way. Is she alive?”

That was important to me. It was the first—and last—cool thing I’d done

in my life. If it turned out I’d been too late, that I hadn’t saved her—that

would be awful.

“Sure. She’s got a pretty bad broken leg, though.”

Thank goodness…That meant my death wasn’t in vain. I was able to do something

worthwhile with my life, even if only at the very end…

The beautiful girl cocked her head questioningly at my look of relief.

“Although, if you hadn’t pushed her, she wouldn’t have been hurt at all.”

“……Huh?”

What did she just say?!

“That tractor would’ve stopped before hitting her. Obviously. It’s a

tractor. It doesn’t even go that fast. Your dumb heroics were totally uncalled

for. Pffft…hee-hee-hee!”

She sure knew how to make a good first impression. Not.

I guess it would be rude to smack her. But I really want to.

Never mind that. There was something more important to ask.

“What did you say? A tractor? Not a truck?”

“Yes, that’s right. A tractor. You think that girl wouldn’t have noticed if

some huge truck was coming right at her? She would’ve gotten out of the

way.”

…Huh?

“Wait, so…I died getting run over by a tractor?”

“No, you died of shock. You were convinced a truck had hit you, and your

body failed. I’ve been doing this a long time, but you’re the first person I’ve

met who died in such a weird way.”

I was at a loss for words.

“Incidentally, you soiled yourself when you thought you were going to be

hit by that tractor. They took you to the nearest hospital, and all the doctors

and nurses were like, ‘Whaaat? What a loser! (LOL),’ and you died of a heart

attack without even waking u—”

I threw my hands over my ears. “Stop iiiit! Please noooo, I don’t wanna

hear it! I don’t need to hear how pathetic it was!”

She drew close to me and, with a smirk, whispered in my ear: “Your

family got to the hospital just this minute, and before they could even grieve,

they heard the cause of death and burst out laughi—”

“Stop! Stop! You’re making this up, right? No one’s ever died in such a

pathetic way!”

She stood above me and giggled as I knelt on the ground, my head in my

hands.

“All right. I guess I’ve let off enough steam for today. Nice to meet you,

Kazuma Satou. My name is Aqua. I’m a goddess who gives guidance to those

in Japan who die young. Now, then. Regardless of how amusing the

circumstances of your demise may be, you have two choices.”

This damn woman…!

All right, forget it. I had to let it go, or we’d never get anywhere.

“Option one: be reborn as a human, starting a completely new life. And

option two: live like an old geezer in a heavenly place.”

Talk about lose-lose.

“Hang on… What do you mean, ‘heavenly place’? And what is ‘living

like an old geezer,’ anyway?”

“Honestly, Heaven isn’t as great a place as you humans imagine. The

dead don’t need to eat, and nothing is ever produced in the afterlife—so even

if you wanted to cook something, there’d be no ingredients. Sorry to

disappoint you, but Heaven’s actually a real drag. No TV, no manga, no

video games. Just a bunch of dead people. And since you’re dead, you can’t

even hook up with anyone! I mean, you don’t really have a body, right? It’s

just you and a bunch of spirits sitting around sunning yourselves and making

small talk for all eternity.”

What? No paradise? No video games? That’s not Heaven. That’s Hell.

I could start over as a baby…

Hang on—are those seriously my only choices?

I was clearly dejected, but the goddess gave me a huge smile.

“You’re right. Who wants to go to a boring place like Heaven? And being

reborn isn’t so hot, either. You lose all your memories, and isn’t that

basically the same as saying you, Kazuma Satou, would cease to exist? Well!

Have I got an offer for you…”

I smelled something fishy.

She saw I was wary, but Aqua only grinned even wider.

“You like video games, right?”

And then she proudly laid out her great proposal or whatever.

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