Episode 7

My life really seems to be super dramatic... I just felt out of words to describe how I feel about my life.. It's like as if God is playing around with me.

Maybe I have become somewhat like a crazy person.. wishing things that are impossible in real life.. but still I did

Days went by again just like before.. But then I became more emotionless.. I was like.. "Oh.. there is something going on.. Just let it flow as God has planned......."

I stopped caring much about relationships.. and started caring only about myself... I didn't know what was going on with my life... everything seemed like it was a bad dream from which I couldn't wake up... it was more like a nightmare or mirage...

Everytime I try to do something it feels like as if I'm stucked somewhere in the past..

I didn't know where things went wrong or when it started to go in the wrong way.. and it just torments me not knowing what to do..

Soon after I started going out for job interviews and all, trying to make a living for myself.. After sometime I got into a private company as an office worker. I started making new acquaintances and hanged out with them sometimes...

I thought my life became more normal now.. But actually it's not... My ex-boyfriend came back to me again and like a fool I accepted him back..

We started dating again.. I thought he would change and try to make time for me this time... At first he acted like he cared but after sometime he went back to his old self... who is busy all the time with his studies or whatever...

Later after pondering for a while I thought it's the best to just end things for good... Then soon I ended things with him and both of us went on with our own lives as usual...

Days and months passed by again as usual.. Soon I was 23 and I thought to myself "If God doesn't grant my wishes to live a blissful life without heartbreak then why not I try challenging Him and betting my lifespan like in those dramas I watched..."

Thinking this one day I went to the Temple with my friend and after reaching there we entered inside the Temple... I started praying or more like challenging God that if He grants whatever I wished for I will gladly give up half of my lifespan.. And that I just want him to make things just a bit easier for me..

I thought… God wouldn't listen to my prayers so even if it's a challenge to him nothing will change in my life and it'll be as usual.. But maybe it's a mistake on my side

I never knew that God would hear my challenging prayer and grant it... Life is really unpredictable.

While praying I thought to myself that maybe God really thinks of humans as their pawns or something since everything seems to be staged.. And I felt like a doll dancing to their tune

Maybe I'm too weird but that's how I felt whenever I'm in low spirit..

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I'm not always around since this story I've been trying to write is more like a biography of my own or more like a little secret in my diary which I didn't want my family or friends to know.. So whenever I felt like sharing the details I comes here with a little bit of my imagination added to it

Hope you guys like my little secret and thank you for reading ❤️❤️

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