The home ec room was filled with the sweet scent of vanilla extract.
Yukinoshita, as comfortable as if it were her own home, opened the
refrigerator and took out some eggs, milk, and other items. She secured a
scale and bowls and such, as well, and started preparing and rattling around
with a ladle and some other mysterious cooking implements I didn’t
recognize.
Apparently, this flawless superwoman was also an expert cook.
She quickly finished laying out everything she would need and then put
on an apron as if to say, Now it’s time for the real deal.
Yuigahama put one on as well, but she didn’t seem used to it, as the way
she tied her string was a mess.
“That’s crooked. Can’t you even put on an apron right?”
“Sorry, thanks… Huh?! I can put on an apron, at least!”
“Oh? Then put it on right. If you don’t even try to do it properly, you’ll
end up past the point of no return, just like him.”
“Don’t use me as your cautionary tale. What am I, a hairy namahage
demon looking for naughty children?”
“You should be glad. This is the first time you’ve ever been useful to
someone. Oh, though I may be treating you like monster, I wasn’t trying to
imply anything about your scalp. Don’t worry.”
“I wasn’t worried. And stop looking at my hair with that patronizing smile
on your face.” I swiftly hid my hairline behind my hand in an attempt to
shield it from Yukinoshita’s rare smile. I heard a voice giggling at me.
Yuigahama, still in her sloppily tied apron, watched us from the side.
“You still don’t have it on? Or is it that you can’t put it on after all? …
Ahhh, I’ll tie it for you, so come over here.” Exasperated, Yukinoshitabeckoned the other girl over with a flick of her hand.
“You don’t…mind?” Yuigahama mumbled with the slightest bit of
hesitation. She looked like an anxious child who didn’t know where she was
supposed to go.
“Come on.” The icy sound of Yukinoshita’s voice broke her indecision.
Yukinoshita seemed kind of angry, and it was a little scary.
“S-s-s-sorry!” Yuigahama zipped right over to Yukinoshita. What are you,
a puppy?
The vexed girl moved behind the source of her annoyance and firmly
retied her apron.
“Yukinoshita…you’re kind of like a big sister.”
“There’s no way my little sister could be this incompetent.” Yukinoshita
sighed, looking disappointed, but I felt as if Yuigahama’s comparison was
surprisingly not far from the mark. Yukinoshita, with her air of maturity, and
Yuigahama, with her baby face—together, the two rather resembled a pair of
sisters.
They really gave off a warm household vibe.
Also, only old men are into that whole girl-wearing-nothing-but-an-apron
thing. Me, I thought the school-uniform-plus-apron-combo was the ultimate.
I felt my heart growing warm and let slip a leer.
“H-hey, Hikki…”
“Wh-what is it?” Whoops. That might have been a creepy smile. My
voice went shrill, too, kicking the creepiness factor up a notch. I’d set off a
chain reaction of creep factor.
“Wh-what do you think of domestic girls?”
“I think they’re okay. I think all guys are attracted to them to a degree.”
“O-oh…” Hearing that seemed to put her at ease, and she smiled. “Okay,
let’s do this!” Rolling up the sleeves of her blouse, she cracked open an egg
and beat it. She added other ingredients like flour and then sugar, butter, and
vanilla extract.
Yuigahama’s skills were so far from the norm that even someone like me
who didn’t really know a lot about cooking could tell. Maybe this is much
ado about cookies, but I believed that precisely because they’re so simple to
make, they clearly display the baker’s skill level. You could see a person’s
real ability, the kind you couldn’t fake.
First of all, the beaten egg: There was shell in it.
Next, the flour: It was all clumped up.
And the butter: It was still hard.
She exchanged sugar for salt like it was the obvious thing to do and
poured in a ton of vanilla extract. The milk sloshed around dangerously
inside the bowl.
When I happened to glance over at Yukinoshita, she was holding her
forehead and looking green. Even I, with my poor cooking skills, felt a chill
run down my spine. Yukinoshita, with her talents, must have been shuddering
in horror.
“Well, then…,” Yuigahama said, taking out some instant coffee.
“Coffee, huh? Well, food goes down easier when you have something on
hand to drink. That’s thoughtful of you.”
“What? That’s not what this is for. This is for subtle seasoning. Don’t lots
of guys hate sweet stuff?” Yuigahama cocked her head over her shoulder at
me as she worked. I took my eyes off her hands for a moment to consider her
face, and by the time I looked back there was a black mountain inside her
bowl.
“That doesn’t look subtle at all!”
“Huh? Oh. Then I’ll adjust it by adding more sugar,” she said,
constructing a white mountain next to the black. A giant tsunami of beaten
egg engulfed them both, creating a true hell.
Let me get right to the point: Yuigahama lacked cooking skills. It wasn’t a
question of those skills being poor or underdeveloped. She had absolutely
none to begin with.
Not only was she clumsy, but she was imprecise, dangerously creative,
and altogether unsuited for cooking. I’d never want to do chemistry
experiments with this girl. She was the type who’d kill you with a mistake.
By the time those things came out of the oven, for some reason, they
looked like coal-black pancakes. Judging by the smell, they were bitter.
“Wh-why?” An expression of shock on her face, Yuigahama gazed at the
mystery substance.
“I can’t comprehend it… How can you make so many errors all at once?”
Yukinoshita mumbled. Her voice was quiet, so Yuigahama probably couldn’t
hear. But even so, it sounded like something that she couldn’t hold in—words
that had just popped out.
Yuigahama put the mystery substance on a plate. “It looks a bit odd, but…you don’t know until you taste it, right?!”
“That’s true. And we have a taste tester right here.”
“Aha-ha-ha! Oh, Yukinoshita. It’s so rare that you err in your choice of
vocabulary. The term you’re searching for is food taster—someone who tests
for poison.”
“What poison?! Oh…poison… Hmm, I guess it is poison after all?” For
someone who’d initially taken such vigorous offense, Yuigahama suddenly
seemed quite unsure, tilting her head to the side and giving me a look that
said, So what do you think?
That didn’t even warrant a reply, did it? I shook off Yuigahama’s puppydog eyes and tried to get Yukinoshita’s attention.
“Hey, am I seriously supposed to eat this? This is like the charcoal they
sell at a hardware store.”
“She didn’t use any inedible ingredients, so you’ll be fine. Probably.
Plus…” Yukinoshita paused and moved to whisper in my ear. “I’ll eat some,
too, so it’s okay.”
“For real? Are you maybe actually a good person? Or do you like me?”
“Actually, you can eat them all and die after all.”
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