Hachiman try To pull offf

So after a brief silence, as a warning to her, I said gravely and with

palpable anger in my tone, “Don’t use stuff like Die! or I’ll kill you! as casual

insults. I’ll kill you if you do that again.”

“Oh…s-sorry. That’s not what I…huh?! You just said it! You super-said

it!” As I’d noted earlier, Yuigahama is a dumbass. But surprisingly, she was

also capable of making a sincere apology.

I realized my initial impression of her hadn’t been entirely accurate. I’d

thought her head was filled with nothing but partying, sex, and drugs—just

like everyone else in her clique, the soccer club crowd, and the people who

hung out with them. What was this, a Ryuu Murakami novel?

Apparently tired of bouncing around, Yuigahama breathed a short sigh.

“Hey, I heard from Ms. Hiratsuka that this place grants students’ wishes?”

she asked, breaking the brief silence.

“Did she?” I’d been under the impression this club was for reading books

and wasting time.

Yukinoshita completely ignored my dubious expression and responded to

Yuigahama’s question. “Not quite. The Service Club is really only for

helping people. Whether or not your wishes are granted depends on you.”

“How is that ‘not quite’?” Yuigahama asked, perplexed. That was exactly

what I’d wanted to ask, too.

“It’s the difference between giving a starving person a fish and teaching

them how to fish. Volunteer efforts are, at their core, about putting that ideal

into practice, and not just about producing results. Perhaps the best way to

describe it is that we encourage self-reliance.”

That sounded like something out of an ethics textbook. So it looked like

we were basically in agreement that the point of the club was putting selfreliance and cooperation (the same bullcrap held up as virtuous in any

school) into practice. I guess the teacher had babbled on about labor or

whatever… So in other words, the club was about working to help other

students.

“Th-that’s kind of amazing!” Yuigahama had this look in her eyes like

she’d just had a revelation, like Whoa, you just convinced me! It made me a

little worried that one day she might get suckered in by a cult.

There’s absolutely no scientific basis for this idea, but there is this

common belief that girls with big boobs are a little…you know. I think this

example could be added to the listof

And then there was Yukinoshita with her flat-as-a-board chest, her clear

intellect, and her wisdom. As usual, she was smiling coldly. “I may not

actually grant your wish, but I will help you as best I can.”

Apparently reminded of what she’d originally come here for, Yuigahama

piped up. “Oh! Um, um…listen, so…cookies…,” she began, glancing at my

face.

I’m not empty carbs. People in class treat me like empty air, and though

those sound similar, they’re different.

“Hikigaya.” Yukinoshita jerked her chin, gesturing toward the hallway. It

was a sign telling me to get lost. She didn’t have to signal me like that. She

could have kindly said, You’re an eyesore, so would you be so kind as to

please leave that seat, though it would make me very happy if you never come

back.

If it was something they could only talk about between girls, then there

was nothing I could do about it. Stuff like that was a thing. The hints were

health and physical education, boys not included, and a class for girls only in

a different classroom. In other words, that was what they were going to talk

about.

I do wonder what they talk about during those classes. It still bothers me.

“…I’m gonna go get a Sportop.” I’m too nice, if I do say so myself. I read

the room and casually took action. If I were a girl, I’d fall for me for sure.

When I got up, Yukinoshita apparently thought of something, so she

called after me as I put my hand on the door. “I’d like a Vegetable Lifestyle

100 Strawberry Yogurt Mix.”

She doesn’t even think twice before using me as her errand boy.

Yukinoshita, you’re a piece of work.

Making a round trip from the third floor of the special-use building to the

first floor took less than ten minutes. If I took my time strolling along, maybe

the girls would be done with their conversation. No matter what kind of

person she was, she was still our first client. In other words, the competition

the teacher had set for Yukinoshita and I had begun. Well, I doubted I was

going to win, so all I had to worry about was minimizing the amount of damage the whole affair would deal me.

In a suspicious-looking vending machine in front of the school store, there

was a mysterious beverage in a juice box that you never really see at

convenience stores. It tasted quite similar to something else, but it actually

wasn’t bad, so I kept an eye out for it. Sportop’s candy-like taste in particular

flew in the face of current “no-calorie, no-sugar” trends, and I liked that

rebellious spirit. It tasted all right.

The vending machine rumbled like a sky fortress when I inserted a

hundred-yen coin. Once I’d secured some Sportop and a Vegetable Lifestyle,

I deposited another hundred yen. Just buying drinks for two out of three

would have been kind of awkward, so I decided to pick something up for

Yuigahama, too, pressing the button for Men’s Café au Lait. In all, it totaled

three hundred yen. I’d just blown about half my net worth. I was so broke.

The first thing Yukinoshita said when I got back was “You took too long,”

snatching the Vegetable Life out of my hands before jamming in the straw

and taking a sip.

That left me with the Sportop and the Men’s Café au Lait. Yuigahama

apparently realized whom the latter was for. “Here,” she said, pulling a

hundred yen from a change purse that looked like a pocket.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Yukinoshita hadn’t paid, and I’d bought this extra drink

without asking Yuigahama if she wanted one. Even if there was a reason for

Yukinoshita to pay me, Yuigahama was under no such obligation. So instead

of taking her hundred-yen coin, I put the café au lait in her hands.

“B-but…I can’t…” She stubbornly kept trying to hand me the money. Not

wanting to go through that annoying I’ll pay! No, it’s okay! routine, I just

went over beside Yukinoshita. Yuigahama huffed and reluctantly put the coin

away. “Thanks.” She expressed her gratitude quietly and took the café au lait

in both hands with a tee-hee, looking happy and bashful.

I thought that was probably the greatest show of thanks I’d received ever.

That smile might have been too much in exchange for just a hundred yen.

Satisfied, I tried to catch Yukinoshita’s interest. “Are you two done

talking?

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