Broken Dams

Cavil's POV

The six of us make our way to school, the others are all chattering about how they want to join a new club this year or whatever, I have nothing to contribute and even if I did, my brain has other plans for me today. It keeps replaying what happened at home today. I woke up from another gruesome nightmare just like every day, but I must have screamed pretty loud because the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, was my parents. They knew better than to touch me because I get violent when anyone touches me right after I have had one. So, they were standing, a foot away from my bed, my mother's eyes were filled with horror and my dad had that look of helplessness and guilt that I have begun to hate so much. When I had completely woken up, they gave me some water, didn't say much and just left.

But things got weird at breakfast. My older brother was also at the table and was excited about being selected at some fancy law school in the US. Dad was about to get up and hug him when suddenly he just looked at me and sat down like he was guilty of feeling happy, mom shared the same look too and my brother looked at me like this was all my fault.

I usually don't say anything at times like these and just move away from the scene but today, something inside me just snapped.

"OK, that's enough! I've had enough of this."

They all looked at me shocked, but I needed to get this out, now.

"I'm done with you all treating me like I'm damaged beyond repair like I'm some science experiment that you have tried and failed to solve and I'm done with those looks of pity that I wake up to every morning! You all treat me like I'm sucking away the happiness in the atmosphere like somehow your self inflicted guilt is all my doing. I know what happened to me was not your fault but it's not mine either, I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask to be abused, sexually assaulted or be so mentally broken. I am tired. I cannot stand being looked at like I'm the only thing that's wrong with this house."

"Wha-what did you just say? Sexually assaulted? Cavil wha- what are you talking about?" Dad asked ashen-faced.

Oh crap, maybe I told too much. So, pretending to not have heard him, I said

"So, I have come to a decision, I am going to move out next year, go somewhere far away and try to start fresh, that way you all can be content in knowing that I'm alive without having to see my  face and I can try and pretend like the past four years of my life have never happened."

I let out a long breath having removed some of the lingering anger and frustration out of my system and then realized the room around me had gone completely quiet. I did not want to look up, fearing what their reactions might be and that's when I heard Dushyanth come in.

I was horrified that he might have heard everything, so I snapped my head up, to see just normal Dushyanth, with that beautiful smile aimed in my direction and I needed him out of here before something bad happened. So, I didn't stop to see any of their faces, I just dragged him out, took my bag which I had kept on the porch and made a run for it.

But I know that this isn't the end of the discussion, I'll have to deal with this later.

But right now, I was brought back to reality with D aggressively poking my shoulder.

"Hey Kev, where are you lost? Is it about this morning? Are you OK?"

"Why? What happened this morning ?" Naina asked furrowing her brows.

"It's nothing important Naina," I said, trying desperately to end the conversation and Nick must have got the hint because he started talking about something else and my story was soon forgotten, I sent a silent thank you and he gave me a small nod in return.

I really have to dodge this subject as much as I can, because all I'll be doing by letting them know, is hurting them. D would probably be affected the most and I'd never wanna see that happen.

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