Never Mine

"You betrayed me and i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way i hurt."

Leo brought me ice cream and take me home. He said to call him when i feel like talking to someone. I'm grateful but i just need to be alone right now.

"Honey? Who was that?" -Mom

She's trying too look at Leo's car that just drove away.

"A friend." -Me

"Did you eat already?" -Mom

"Yes mom. Can i bring this ice cream to my room?" -Me

"Ofcourse honey. Drink a lot of water after okay? Iloveyou." -Mom, kissing my forehead.

"Iloveyoutoo mom." -Me

I was just crying and eating ice cream the whole night. I turned my phone off.

The only thing im happy about right now is that decision for not bringing Jack home to meet my parents, maybe that's the reason i was never ready to introduce him to them.

---------

On Sunday, Leo brought my car home and gave me extra ice cream.

Monday came. I am so proud of myself not crying yesterday, i knew better.

I saw Leo standing outside his car talking to Andrew when i reached the parking lot.

I parked my car beside his car. I got out from my car without shades on because my eyes weren't puffy.

When Leo saw me, he excused himself from Andrew.

"I see. No puffy eyes." - he chuckled.

"Shut up." -Me.

We were talking when i noticed Jack parked his car.

He got out from his car Jack. He looked at me. Then leave.

My heart aches. He just looked at me and walked away.

After a minute. Leo and I decided to go to our rooms.

---------

From all the teachers have discussed, i understand nothing because all i could think about is Jack.

After the class, i go straight to the library to just study.

I'm reading when someone sits infront of me but i ignored him.

"Hey."

"Hey your face. What?" -Me

I looked at him and it made me jump.

It's Rex.

I thought it's Leo

He chuckled.

"What?" -Me.

I felt embarrassed.

Stupid.

"Jack told me that you already knew?" -Rex

I looked at Rex.

"So, you knew?" -Me

"Ofcourse." -Rex

"What do you want?" -Me

"I'm impressed not seeing puffy eyes from you. Was that doesn't hurt so much that it didn't make you cry?" -Rex

"Why do you care so much? How bout you? Aren't you hurt too? Melissa's you're long time girlfriend." -Me

"Me? And Melissa? Nah, psh. We hate each other so much that we cursed each other to death." - he's laughing.

"Jack told me that, don't excuse yourself from this hurtful truth." -Me

"He said that? Ew no." -Rex, still laughing.

I just stared at Rex.

"You see. Jack is my second degree cousin. My mom and his dad are first degree cousins, that's what makes us the second haha." - he's trying to joke.

But when he saw me not laughing, he stopped.

I'm still staring at him.

"Melissa is Jack's long time girlfriend. Not mine." -Rex

That shocked me and confused me at the same time.

Okay. Wth.

"What do you mean?" -Me

"Jack and Melissa. They've been dating for 2 years before Jack met you. Melissa's mom is Jack mom's bestfriend. That kinda makes them childhood friends. They've always been around each other that they grew feelings for each other. 7th grade, Jack ask me to help him confessed to Melissa, i helped him and Melissa said yes coz why not? The feelings were mutual. But on our 8th grade summer break, they broke up. Melissa and Jack said that the relationship was boring, so they just kind of talked it out and agreed to end things." -he sound like he's tryna summarize a story.

"What do you mean 8th grade? Jack asked me to date him on 8th grade." -Me.

What is the meaning of this?

"Oh. That's another story. Jack saw you for the first time on 8th grade at the field, he told you that. He kind of find you attractive so he told Melissa about you then Melissa told Jack if he really wants to date you, it's no big deal, she told Jack he can date you but to keep their relationship a secret and told Jack never kiss you. Jack agreed. That is why he never kissed you. Nobody from the school knows they were dating because they would deny it to everybody who asked. Melissa thought it was exciting until she noticed Jack is spending more time with you than her. They got into a fight, that fight made their relationship vulnerable. So you see. You are dating Jack who has a girlfriend. It's not your fault though." -Rex

I don't know what to feel right now. The things i just knew is like a time bomb that just got exploded.

I don't know if i deserve to be treated that way.

Was it my fault?

We kissed though.

"They were back together 2 months ago. I'm glad you knew about them before their 3rd year anniversary. I think that's tomorrow. You are the outsider actually. I'm sorry this happened to you. They played you good." -Rex.

I couldn't talk.

Rex leave me there hanging.

Is this what Melissa were talking about?

Jack weren't cheating on me. He was cheating on her.

Jack was never mine.

Jack's love was never mine.

I was just his type.

Never his love.

And this hurts so much more than the fact that i thought he was cheating on me.

I was the mistress.

Fuuuuccckkk!!!!

I wanna hurt someone!!! Can i hurt someone?!!!

I want to blame Jack for everything but i know i have my faults too.

My heart feels leaden, i want to cry so hard but i can't. Im still at the library.

I go out from the library, ran to my car and locked the doors.

I don't know what's gotten into me that i called Leo.

"Hello?" -Leo

The moment i hear his voice. I just burts out crying.

"Where are you?" -he sound serious.

"My car." -Me, crying.

"Stay right there." -he hanged up.

I just sat there and cried.

After a minute Leo knocked on my window. I unlocked the door and he went inside.

He hugged me. That made me cry so much more.

"What happened?" -Leo asked after a minute.

I told him everything Rex's told me.

"What the hell?" -Leo.

"All those suspicious things connects like puzzle in my head." -Leo. Talking to himself.

"What do you mean?" -Me

Leo looked at me.

"I've been suspecting them. They're just around each other like they own each other." -Leo

"I caught them 2 months ago pero di nila alam. At the gym too. Then i caught them the second time, that was on Friday, with you." -Me

"What? Why? You've been acting like you knew nothing?" -Leo, surprised.

"I just love Jack so much. I just wanna keep him for myself but it turns out he wasn't mine. Never mine. And it's funny cause i don't know how to start building myself again without him. " -Me

"I'm here for you. Don't rush things. It will come. When your heart is ready, you will find that, it is necessary to let some things go just because they are heavy." -Leo

"Thank you for being here though. I don't know why i called you here." -Me

"I'm your friend." -Leo

*Sigh*

Even though i talked about it with Leo, nothing changed my heart still feels leaden.

It hurts.

I feel so stupid.

"Ice cream?" -Leo

"Ye." -Me

Then we drove to the nearest mall around just to buy ice cream.

I don't know what the future holds.

I don't know if i can make it.

I don't know how long would this pain take me to heal.