Chapter 1 , a flower withers as another blooms

July 30 , year 2000 , I was born into this world and at July 29 , year 2000 i died , pretty confusing right .

I had died and reincarnated , i used to be an author , but did not hit it big , i used to do research all day long but none of my works hit it big , and i killed myself by jumping of my rooftop . Because i was just...not able to live anymore .

I always dreamed of having a better life or living as a charecter in another world and making a reverse harem !

And... looks like god granted one of my wishes , i have been reborn !

I was truly happy , when i opened my eyes , i was truly filled with joy . I was truly shocked , my heart was thumping , it was nervewrecking , but it only lasted for a little bit of time .

My body which was small and weak , was now containing the memories of a 36 year old woman .

My head started to tear itself apart , it was too much information for a child who had not even lived for a whole minute straight !

My whole body felt like it was about to break , my head was hazy , then i fainted due to the pain .

I was in constant pain , i felt like , i had to puke , but i also felt sleepy . My body was too weak to handle the preassure so i always slept .

I had to be in the hospital for 2 whole years after being born into this world , this was also the time i realised , i was not reincarnated into some iseaki world . But i had no time to feel sad !

I had to make sure my soul did not damage the vessel , so i kept sleeping till i felt stable . And that brings us to today , 21st January , year 2002 . Today i'm getting discharged from the hospital , and just a few days ago all my struggles between life and death ended . It was hell up until now !

After reincarnation i was not even able to think things , it would strain my body , so i had to always sleep , the past 1 month has been bliss , my vessel is now able to contain my soul properly , so i have been pretty much asleep for almost 2 years and have only been feeling drowsy for the past month .

And now that i'm in my tip top condition im going to live my fated life of having a reverse harem , meet hot guys and hit it big !

As i was swimming in my fantasies , 2 strangers approached me , a male and female in their teens . They looked at me with caring eyes , they were a cute couple . ' Why are they looking ats me with such eyes ? And why is my heart beating so fast ? '

Two hands reached out to me and wraped around my tiny body , they were warm , i was comfortable , i felt that i was being protected .

" My child i'm so sorry "

Tears rolled down her eyes as she held me and repeated the same words again and again . That instant i knew , she was my mother . I could feel her love , i had never felt this way from my mother... my previous mother , ' maybe this is where i belong ' . With those thoughts , i started crying too and hugged her .

" Mama.... hic hic , ma-ma "

I cried in her arms , i then felt the sudden urge to ask her where she was all this time , why did she not come to see me ? I... no longer was the same me from my past life , right then and there i felt that i was acknowledged, something that had never happened in my previous life .

" ma-ma , da da .... "

I looked at the guy standing next to her , i already knew he was my father because , my intuition was screaming that at my face me , the guy who was also crying , hugged us both we cried for sometime .

I felt like i had at last found them , the people i had been waiting for all of my life . I had no memory of them but i loved them , unconditionally. I wept , repeating the same words again and again . I wanted to ask them why did they not come to find me ?

But i already knew the answer and yet , just like a child i cried in their arms , i grabbed them tightly , i did not want them to leave me again , i did not want to be alone anymore. I want to be with them .

I grabbed them as tightly as i could . ' Looks like it was not the vessel that became big enough to contain my soul , it was the opposite . And i'm happy bout it .

My heart was thumping so fast , i felt sadness and joy at the same time . I felt my heart being torn apart by all the differnt emotions i felt . I was loosing my consciousness , i had worn myself out by crying, i felt like they would slip away .

So i grabbed them as hard as i could before being eaten away by the darkness . Until now , even in my previous life , i have always been cold , there was no one , who wanted to share their warmth with me .

I have always been scared of falling asleep , because of the cold air that does not give me any warmth and i fear the night as i felt like i would be eaten away anytime .

Everyone always forgot me , i felt like i was not one of them , even my own parents forgot they had a second child .

If they brought chairs , they would buy 3 one for father , one for mother and one for big brother . I was never there in their life .

The students did not like me because I craved attention , to make myself feel warm i started writing , i wrote all kinds of things . But , i was never acknowledged , no one bothered to look at them .

Not even a glance , but still...i wrote , hoping maybe one day... just someone might notice me .

But.. That never happened , i lived my whole life being unnoticed . Then I had lost everything , i felt like maybe if I committed a crime , i might be able to attract their attention , maybe they might notice me then .

But i realised then that , i had been broken , so i jumped of my rooftop .

At one of the most coldest nights , tears flowed though my cheeks , and dripped down , i was having all kinds of happy thoughts , i laughed while crying . " Would anyone care if I die ? " after uttering those words , i hit the ground . My blood that had been flowing inside me , came pouring out . It was warm , but it did not last long .

' God must have heared my last words , maybe that is why right now , I'm not afraid to fall asleep '

' The warmth is still there . I can still feel them .'

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***