childhood memories 1

I ask lola why my mother left me and why my father was not with me and my brothers,don't they love me?

She replied "your mom was never satisfied with the life in this province, she want money and she is ambitious!" said with hatred

she don't love you or else why would she leave and choose to be with that doctor and not be content with your Papa.

Since that day I never ask anyone about my mother and father cause I was in pain when I heard that she don't love me, she leaves me at the near store who is not even our relative just like an abandon cat on the street,my father was a gambler who never came to me I only meet him one time when he thought I will die because of a severe fever that I could not even sit and open my eyes I thought so that I will die that day.

I have to continue my life that no one else know that I have heard what they are talking about the situation of my family I just ignore it. But I promise to my self that I would never do that when I will have but before that I will become successful and I will say to their face "look the one you abandoned is in great situation but I dont need you anymore because I have my own life now", I cried while saying it to my mind.

I went to grade school. Why does they keep asking where my parents are when I dont have? they make me more in pain.

Sherry Sayson?

Present!

the teacher was checking the attendance.

I am not talkative due to lack of confidence how could I have when I have a broken heart as a child.I don't cooperate much to the class cause we have transfer to A city and I have known no one here.

As my 1st grade continue I've seen kids having there mom or dad dropping them at school and fetching them really envious of that but what can I do my lola told me to be independent cause later on she will be gone thats her technique,always when I do bad saying that will make me guilty and obey her immediately , I can cross the road by myself and I can be at home with no one she's a nanny to other house while I'm alone just playing by myself other people praise me for that they say I'm smart and a trustworthy kid than their children, sounds good but should I be glad that I don't have parents too.

If I could just tell parents not to leave your child or just dont ask to have a child when you will just leave them when your relationshio doesn't work. Do you know how hard to be a product of a broken home as if everyday that you could see a complete one you gonna blame yourself for not being good enough that's why your left out theres no day that I have not prayed to God that if He allows to make my mother come back I'll be good girl and If my father will changed I will treat him well but it doesn't happen,though I never question His plan cause I know He has a best plan.

then life goes own I hope they will remember me.But I gone at 2nd grade,3rd and done the sixth grade and graduation how fast, I expect a surprised that maybe they will come and pop out of nowhere I could forgive them cause I realized hating them will make my life shorter you'll have enlargement of the heart or worst, hair will turn white earlier ? then nothing happen I was really discouraged again and again.Did they forgot about me? so sad.

Grandpa died when I was in 5th grade, it was hard to digest at that moment caused he was the father figure of me when my own father was not around, he used to make breakfast for me and my milk when going to school, he loved me more than his own child, he taught me how to read, I remember the title of the selection we read that time " The part of the house" , my aunt said to me that lolo is not like that to them when they were at my aged lolo is not approachable to them but me he is so tender and caring to me, he never allows me get hurt by walking further from our old house it has a wider area the neighborhood is far, walk three mountains before seeing one, when we come to this city , we seldom visit the former place we live in the Province and now that this especial day come I think of him maybe if he's here with me he will be proud even the simple award I have, At our class I rank 6, over all we got the ribbons lower sections will only have that simple awards caused the higher honors will be given to the SMART CURRICULUM and SPED CURRILUM,we are in GENERAL CURRICULUM class so we have the ribbons it's alright with me the most important was we learn from the class not the ribbons or medals, what will I do to it can I sold it to make money it ? surely I can't.

Even so, I should continue to move forward

maybe family is not just a mother and father. I have my grandparents and aunts and uncle treat them as your parents also, Cheer up! said to myself. You should be better and cherrish the people around you do not put more burdens in your heart, enough of your longing to the persons who never see's you as important as their desire and ambitions.

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