Under the same sky

I wish it was a movie where u and i ,sitting under the same sky on the balcony of our lil palace with build together with our hardwork and love.

It would be so perfect like a dream...

so beautiful like a fairytale coming into reality.

Each time u say those small but heart fluttering words to me, a blush would still come on my face it has already been countless times u have said......

.....is a sign that i don't worry about anything now.

Which means that no matter what we both had been through to achieve this day , at last its a happy ending and we will stay ever after(just like those romance movies).

But no matter how good and beautiful the ending of a movie is, it always leaves the movie theater alone and empty.....

Each step from the dark theater room...full of emotions to the real world reminds me that ...

''it can be only a movie😌''.

No matter what ....we can't always make some of our desires true , no matter how desperate we are.

though its true we shouldn't give up until we try and do our best but the anxiety makes us loose confidence when it comes to our heart.

I know we can't be together maybe its just all in my mind , maybe you said we could make it ,

Maybe....... we could be like the couple in the movie ..... but i know ... we wouldn't be able to make it.

Noooo , its not my self esteen , its my fear and my unsuccessful life telling me we aren't meant for it.

''You may get a better one then me , don't worry u will find your bestest one , but that can be me if u want to" ......... you always say these things

But you know wht

Who will tell you that i wanna reply you that......

'' you have  always been my bestest choice anyways......... but

 i am not the one you deserve, you deserve someone better..... someone special ...someone who has the same beautiful heart as yours...... somone successful ......not.... an ungrateful selfish person like me....... who....don't desrve you''

So let me just stay selfish and broke your heart today by pushing those warm arms away which were raised to make me feel the warmth of love....... but the, me who you wanna make yours ......... don't deserve you all of this.......

So let me just make it clear with just few harsh words which broke your as well as my own heart while telling you,

'' I (i )...don't (love).... love (you)...... you (forever) leave(please don't)me alone''

Those brackets ..... maybe were that barrier between you and me which i really can't cross right now..

.... what is stopping me?...... well maybe this stupid mind which is telling me that I don't deserve a person like him while giving myself a disgusting look as always.

maybe I will regret this forever, you will hate me forever but..... no matter what the ending will be .. it will still be a happy ending until we are under the same sky.... right?

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