Chapter 4

Soon, I realise something is amiss as his rough kisses bruise my lips. He presses me as hard as he can on the cold stone that I was sitting on earlier.

What had happened to the weak and shy man that night in the cave when I professed my feelings and asked him to take my first time? I shuddered as I realised how monstrous he was right now. With a single stroke, he rips apart my robe and tears off my undergarments, throwing them aside in the darkness of the woods.

I pull myself from his lips forcefully. “Han, what is this?”

“Punishing you,” he laughs evilly, pulling my feet apart. I feel weak and exposed before him and in contrast to the previous love sessions we had, I feel like a victim instead of a willing party. Yet, I want to experience this side of him. I know my love for him surpasses all this harshness for him, so I allowed him.

So, he wanted me to play along with him? I’ll do it. I mimic my sister’s weak voice, “Lu Han, please be gentle with me. I’ll… I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good girl,” he says, cupping my chest as he explores my body with his fingers. My sensitivity to his touches causes me to jolt with excitement as he prods each part of me. 

“Ah, you like it, don’t you, Winter?” he says in a deep voice. I nod weakly. Without stopping, he leans closer and sucks hard on my neck, before following with my shoulder and slowly moving down to my mounds. He doesn’t leave a single part untouched and leaves his mark on them all. I get more aroused. Then he moves his fingers downwards and sweeps over my opening. 

Whatever he was doing, he must have got it right, because I feel fluid seeping between my legs. My cheeks flush with hotness as he keeps teasing my body. 

“Winter, I want you, not your sister,” he whispers hungrily. He runs his fingers over my curves, which just makes me blush more. “You have an amazing figure and you know it. That night after we did it, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted more, that’s why I came to you.”

“And we are…” I swallowed as I tried to understand what relationship we had. 

“Give yourself to me fully, Winter. I promise you, your sister and I will just be a sham marriage. But she cannot know about us.”

I moan as I feel him penetrate my crevice with his fingers. My fluid keeps gushing, which he seems pleased with.

“Winter, answer me,” he dares me with a challenging stare. “Will you, or will you not?”

I feel his manhood near my core now. Han has beautiful eyes that play with my soul but right now, his stares dominate me, compelling me to answer. 

“Yes…” I moan louder. He is playing at the entrance to my cave now, not entering me yet until I give him the answer he wants to hear. When he hears it, he thrusts himself deep in me, conquering me furiously with his aggressive moves, making me cry out again and again. He is much larger than me in size, and having him in me for the first time was excruciating. Although we have already had sex on a few occasions, I feel nonetheless extremely sore after intercourse. I guess my body isn’t used to sex yet.

The thrill that we are doing the deed in the woods excites me. He smothers me with more kisses but takes me for a very long time, so my ordeal never seems to end. 

“Do you like it, Winter?” he seizes my chin and dominates me with his gaze. I nod feebly, succumbing to each wave of desire passing through me. 

“I saw you and Cheng at the lake earlier, Winter,” he warns. “The way he was looking at you, I don’t like it.”

I gulp. Just hours ago, Li Cheng, the son of my mother’s guard Gerald, had come to look for me saying he had gifts for my parents. He had asked me a few unrelated questions, and I had just dismissed him.

“There’s nothing between me and him, believe me,” I said truthfully. He nodded. 

“Still, you made me jealous, so you will serve your punishment,” he continued with his torment on me. Before I can protest, he pushes his entire length inside me. I wince, but I can see how delighted he is. So I decided to bear with the pain instead.

“I’ll be aware next time,” I tell him submissively. “I’ll only be yours.”

“And, not a word to your sister,” he orders, slamming inside me mercilessly. I give him the affirmative, believing his word that he and my sister will just be a ‘sham’ marriage after all. Eventually, he stops and flushes his seed into me as usual. I watch the whitish liquid drip between my legs, feeling the ensuing soreness of the aftermath of our activity.

It's mortifying what jealousy can do to a man. Yet, I can only feel something is wrong from the way he stares at me possessively. His gaze on me is so powerful that it makes me shiver and succumb to him, becoming the slave to his desires. He is venting his frustrations on me. I know my sister cannot have intercourse with him due to her feeble state. My heart breaks seeing this other side of him.

We lie under the moonlight, sharing our thoughts. He returns to his gentle side, caressing me softly as he whispers sweet nothings to me. But he doesn't use that word on me. He calls me beautiful and the apple of his eye, but not love. He just says he has feelings for me, but what are those feelings, if not love?

I know as rebellious as I am, I cannot bear to see my sister suffer another relapse or to lose the man I hold dear in my heart. I had said big words that night in the cavern. In fact, my brain could not process anything. Originally, I thought one night with him was enough, but now, I feel I cannot leave him. And making a choice between being the treacherous sister who is sleeping with her older sister's fiance behind her back and losing Han, I chose to become Han's secret lover. Once Han and my sister marry, I will be reduced to no more than a mistress.

But my body is getting addicted to each of his touches and kisses. I want him more than I can even imagine. We spent that entire night in each other's arms, talking about the past. 

In the end, I had made a decision I was unsure that I would regret in the future.

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