Chapter 2

After that night with Lu Han when I lost my virginity, I locked myself in my bedroom for no less than three days and three nights.

The next morning that night, my mother and I had an abrupt quarrel.

“I told you that I loved Han, mother!” I almost raised my voice at her. “Why did you arrange for him and Sister to be married?”

My mother remained indifferent. I felt that she had always treated me as the black sheep of the family, because of my inability to use powers. As my father is a Guardian and a demon-slayer, according to her, I should have both her demon-slaying abilities and some of his powers. When a Guardian and a demon-slayer marry, their powers merge. Yet, I have none. While my brother has slain uncountable demons and gained a name of his own, and my sister, despite her ailment, is able to use shielding powers to protect the village.

After a few moments, she finally answers.

“Because she is the eldest daughter. It is a tradition that the eldest son of a Demonslayer should marry the eldest daughter of a Demonslayer.”

I couldn’t believe her words. She had to be lying because she never followed any of these traditions when she married my father, who was no Demonslayer. Although, their love story was a different story that happened due to some foul magic involved. 

She doesn’t say anything more when I shout. I accuse her of playing favouritism when my eldest sister is her favourite. She just walked away, despite the fact that I thought I saw a glint of tears in her eyes.

The family is busy with the wedding preparations. As Lu Han’s parents are dead, they are conducting the marriage before the altar. In our tradition, we perform what is known as the tea ceremony. The bride and groom will offer tea before parents and elders during the ceremony. The first to receive the tea will be our parents, then my married brother and his wife. Lu Han has no relatives, so the tea will be offered before the altar instead.

There are two weeks more before Lu Han and my sister goes through the ceremony. Watching her, I can’t say a word about how I am deeply in love with Han. She seems to be over the moon with her impending marriage to Han. Every gift from Han, she wraps them up in silk and places them carefully in an ornament box on her dressing table. It makes me jealous of how sweet he is with my sister. Why not me?

After all, I was the one who was with him first. I resent my mother for playing favourites and her unfair treatment to me and my sister for using her weakness to appear vulnerable before Lu Han. And the worst is how Lu Han does not appear to have a backbone! In my anger, I smash every piece of porcelain I can find in my room.

Thinking of every sweet moment between me and Lu Han, I am driven to tears, and within minutes, my fatigued body drives me to enter deep sleep.

Three nights had passed in that way when it rained heavily again. Being a light sleeper, I am suddenly awakened by a loud tapping sound on my window, and pull on it to open it.

“Winter,” that most hated voice I do not wish to hear, calls out to me.

A myriad of emotions rushed through me. My first thought is to deny him entry, but if I do, he will just wake up the servants. So grudgingly I allow him into the space of my tiny bedroom.

“What are you doing here, Lu Han?” I place my hands on my chest annoyedly, keeping my voice down to prevent anyone from hearing me. Part of me feels excited to see him, but the other part of me is angry with Han. Very angry. He knows that whenever I call him with his full name, that means I am not pleased.

Without answering, he just swoops down on me and caresses me with his lips. I don’t know what got over me, because in no time, I am returning his kisses fervently. His hands sneak down my undergarments and stroke me from the outside, making me gasp with desire. My body craves for his entry, wanting to experience what I had already savoured that night in the cavern. Despite how it hurt that night, I knew I was ready for him to take me again.

I allow him to strip me of my clothes, which he does rather roughly. He scoops me into his arms and carries me to my bed, resuming his kisses at full force. I can’t think of anything else other than how I want him inside me once again. Without asking, he lifts my legs and thrusts inside me. He cups my mouth with his hand to muffle my moans.

My body is burning for more from him. He smiles devilishly as he ravages me over and over again. I could have sworn he is looking wickedly at me, seeing me in my lustful state.

Even after he has finished inside me, I find everything hard to believe. We do it a few more times that night, which he doesn’t hesitate from taking me in several different positions and pushing his liquid deep inside me.

It is just dawn when I open my eyes to find him still under the covers with me. Due to my tiredness, I hadn’t opened my mouth to ask him why he had come. He looks at me rather coldly, then gets up to put on his robe.

“Han, why… last night?” I asked him, never feeling more confused than ever.

“I want to have a secret relationship with you,” his icy answer came. 

Did it mean, he wants to have a tryst with me? I felt that I was going against my principles. As selfish as I was, it never occurred to me that I should hurt my sister. 

“But my sister,” I muttered, numbed by the aching feeling between my legs. In addition, my back also hurts from doing it for hours.

“She does not know and will never ever know,” Han said, pulling up his pants without showing the least concern for what he had just said. “By now, you should have known who is in my heart.”

But if he loved me, why did he not say it out all these years? When he kissed me for the first time, he had never said those words. 

I embrace him from behind just before he reaches my window to make his exit. 

“Will you still marry my sister?” I question him doubtfully. 

“Yes. But I do not love her,” he said coldly, pulling the window open. “I’ll be back, my lover.”

I walk back to my bed and sink back under the sheets, looking down at my ***** body, as I contemplate the truth behind his words. Then, I bawl as hard as I can. 

Why me? Why can’t I have a love story like my parents?

But all that answers me is just the silence of my bedroom.

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