I had gone through a lot but now its just really upsetting and I don't know what to do anymore. I asked my mom "What would happen if I jumped right now?" And she said "Well Shay, I would jump right behind you sister, then your 2 younger brothers, then your dad, then mammy (mammy is my grandma), then pappy(my grandpa), then everyone else in our family would be gone. And I thought "Why do you care? Not like you were here raising me, mammy was. You were on drugs and in prison and didn't give 2 shits about us you fucking forgot about us. Made me feel like you hated me" She looked at me with a smile and gave me a hug.
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